tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-226508102024-03-07T13:15:03.232-05:00The Sue FunkeThe Work of Writer, Comedian, and Social Media Maven Sue Funke...Yes, That is My Real NameTheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.comBlogger339125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-10081220564944551052017-10-23T14:14:00.000-04:002017-10-23T14:14:45.920-04:00Reddit: It’s Happening<i>This is a social media piece created as a companion piece for my presentation at <a href="https://2017.socialfreshconference.com/#schedule">the 2017 Social Fresh Conference.</a></i><br />
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> As a Social Media Manager, I’m often asked what the most important Social Media platform is and my answer is always the same, “Depends, what do you want to do?”</span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-9b5915be-4a6d-2c77-6ac2-ff643e5268de"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all know Facebook is good for reaching hyper-targeted audiences and mass marketing, Twitter is good to reach news junkies and TV influencers, Instagram is great if you have storytelling video and imagery that shapes your brand, and Snapchat reaches younger demos. The Social platform that is always left out in our discussions is Reddit. There’s a fear of Reddit in the Social Media Marketing landscape for two major reasons:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s harder to own a presence on Reddit. There’s no page where you can illustrate your brand message with videos and images. There’s no one-on-one virtual customer service. It’s a conversation based on topics real people, not anthropomorphic brands.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The interface is so basic it makes AOL chatrooms of the 90s seem polished:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img alt="Screen Shot 2017-10-14 at 1.31.28 PM.png" height="173" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/47rUK-TZ_da1N1UpBFxX1yawkEZrUaI4WoxrGmfMXd5FI6ZbZwJ4t4Xh6S7mnyXT8aqaEtM08FocD16L9GOrgemEMvlaIGGHinfUmNEXp_Y0Cc4LOfWyzK8RGu0D6CLxxigJUCvs" style="border: none; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="400" /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And while that’s true of the desktop interface, the mobile app which is a little easier to scroll through and ingest. The images associated with each post fit the screen and the threads of conversation are a little more obvious to click on. For example, today while I was scrolling I saw this post and got the full effect of why this photo was so hilarious:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-9b5915be-4a6d-ea14-5022-89c7d1b32290"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img alt="IMG_0333.PNG" height="543" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/4AiJjZbt45sYhP0tpzNeM84ZGUru_tqagHbnXGjEb5dRyJhdED6aBPBJrlmPSSdCrKZQShRsNvMukKear8djkVROXvlwoeIrbsIqT0wmzb-zTizZMBmcaCbhH2gfPW3Cpr2IFYmm" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0.00rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0.00rad);" width="322" /><span style="font-size: 11pt;">And then when I clicked through to the comments I saw something more astonishing, the exact thing Social Media Marketers need to understand so they stop leaving Reddit out of their playbook:</span></span></span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-9b5915be-4a6e-0f5a-0a2e-98d22706fe63"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><img alt="redditconvo.jpg" height="344" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/0chPnZIDl8BnyBmW7s2tgCWdfBlB0dzo35oc4iPh8KImLU10S8XET7BpFRJCzauUj8fW5wehLvCYnxFymsVp2w7Egf-ArQx5rzOR41szqpNhI5zKAxN33eOQnIJ_Ewgy0sMphn6o" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0.00rad); border: none; transform: rotate(0.00rad);" width="363" /></span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is happening, the audience tired of algorithm feeds, false advertising, fake and real news on Facebook are getting on Reddit. It’s an organic society of people sharing fun, interesting, educational, and stupid pieces of life. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s not a coincidence that you’ll likely see the story of the above picture on a blog post that’s in your Facebook feed on Monday. Editorial sites are always trolling Reddit to find human interest stories and utilizing them for feel good pieces of shareable content.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Social can take a play out of editorial’s playbook here. So often we discuss how we have to be disruptive on Social Media platforms. On Reddit, we shouldn’t disrupt, or interrupt the natural flow of conversation and posting that occurs. Instead, we should find ways to learn from it and start the discussion on our own platforms. Make Reddit a part of your personal daily Social Media usage. Review the trending stories and learn what tomorrow’s meme are going to be. Jump on the trends and utilize them in your content creation brainstorms. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In my presentation at<a href="https://2017.socialfreshconference.com/"> Social Fresh in Orlando</a>, I’ll be discussing more ways to utilize this platforms and some ways to integrate into it and still be welcome. I hope to see you there!</span></div>
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TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-9201710834225709892017-02-12T12:26:00.002-05:002017-04-14T09:08:16.585-04:00Sue Funke: Social Media Portfolio<a href="https://youtu.be/OFbuaQQFGFY"><br /></a>
<br />
For more information about my background and professional experience:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LO_L1BwpWn1nvxxwPtVZxhsP7dkwRiuKYMqHVmOldDg/edit?usp=sharing">My Resume</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/thesuefunke">My LinkedIn profile</a></li>
</ul>
VIDEOS<br />
<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/OFbuaQQFGFY">Learning Lopez</a> - Writer / Digital Producer on this introductory show series. This video was used for YouTube, and was re-edited for Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.<br />
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<div style="height: 0; padding-bottom: 56.25%; position: relative;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OFbuaQQFGFY?ecver=2" style="height: 100%; left: 0; position: absolute; width: 100%;" width="640"></iframe></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/GaffiganShow/videos/383360318535829/">The Jim Gaffigan Show: Turn On The Sound Campaign</a> - Writer/Digital Producer for this paid media campaign. This video has been used by both Facebook and Twitter to illustrate effective disruptive video.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/tvland/videos/10155057977319899/">The Jim Gaffigan Show: Facebook Live Q&A Series</a> - Created and hosted weekly live viewing event at comedy club QED in Astoria.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/tvland/videos/10155312539089899/">Golden Girls Viral Video Memes </a>- Edited and wrote copy for numerous popular video memes for classic TV shows including; King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Reba, Friends, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Full House and The George Lopez Show.<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/cd3AHHiza4M">Welcome to the Club Trailer</a> - Produced and acted in the trailer for <a href="http://theuglyvolvo.com/">The Ugly Volvo</a>'s first book, "Welcome to the Club" available on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Welcome-Club-Parenting-Milestones-Coming/dp/1452153477">Amazon</a> by Chronicle Books.<br />
<br />
<div style="height: 0; padding-bottom: 56.25%; position: relative;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cd3AHHiza4M?ecver=2" style="height: 100%; left: 0; position: absolute; width: 100%;" width="640"></iframe></div>
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GRAPHICS<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/tvland/photos/a.388399459898.207779.180670999898/10153336399319899/?type=3&permPage=1">Friends Viral "Sorry Not Sorry Meme"</a> - Wrote and designed, it's been shared over 4k times.<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/newnownext/photos/a.305216702870800.70870.204318022960669/432195796839556/?type=3&permPage=1">New Now Next Vote Special Social Media Producer</a> - Took photos, got photo approval, and created content for multiple platforms.<br />
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GIFs<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="239.04" src="//giphy.com/embed/3o7bu5BHSBr8QuKFsA" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7bu5BHSBr8QuKFsA">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="269" src="//giphy.com/embed/l46Ce27jomoknP4Q0" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-jim-gaffigan-gaffiganshow-l46Ce27jomoknP4Q0">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="324" src="//giphy.com/embed/Zz4xp1gnZSILK" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-virtual-reality-jessica-fletcher-cyber-monday-Zz4xp1gnZSILK">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="346" src="//giphy.com/embed/7IqyTHR6jJ5h6" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-television-tv-land-gilligans-island-7IqyTHR6jJ5h6">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="381" src="//giphy.com/embed/w3Lstr2iBuj6w" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-valentines-day-card-conversation-hearts-w3Lstr2iBuj6w">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//giphy.com/embed/HItvcXBxMuyME" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-snl-saturday-night-live-jerry-seinfeld-HItvcXBxMuyME">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//giphy.com/embed/JPGpB9fGwNZeM" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-friends-scandal-tv-series-JPGpB9fGwNZeM">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="302" src="//giphy.com/embed/14rACYMwBmXDqM" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/tvland-the-brady-bunch-14rACYMwBmXDqM">via GIPHY</a><br />
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<a href="http://giphy.com/channel/thesuefunke">Personal GIPHY page</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.newnownext.com/author/funkes/">Articles for NewNowNext</a> - Editorial pieces I pitched and wrote for Logo's online blog. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxlSeh9ZEepKb2NnaDhLUkVvMTA/view?usp=sharing">About.com Newsletter: The Shopping List</a> - This is an example of the newsletter I wrote that was about shopping advice and product reviews.<br />
<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxlSeh9ZEepKcDJoal9jRWZZRG8/view?usp=sharing"><br /></a>
<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxlSeh9ZEepKcDJoal9jRWZZRG8/view?usp=sharing">About.com Newsletter: The Screening Room</a> - This is an example of the entertainment newsletter I wrote.<br />
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<a href="https://twitter.com/RuPaulsDragRace/status/303658756317782016">Live Tweet Work: #ReadMeDragRace as @RuPaulsDragRace</a><br />
To build excitement for Drag Race each week we’d tweet with fans an hour before showtime telling them to tweet @RuPaulsDragRace with #ReadMeDragRace and we’d ‘read’ their profile pictures in the tone of the show. It often trended and helped build awareness for the show.<br />
<br />
For more information about my background and professional experience:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LO_L1BwpWn1nvxxwPtVZxhsP7dkwRiuKYMqHVmOldDg/edit?usp=sharing">My Resume</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/thesuefunke">My LinkedIn profile</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-9882742450758214782017-02-01T07:21:00.000-05:002017-03-09T06:37:03.206-05:00Four Out Of Five Star Review for Happy Place ComedyExcited to announce that my and <a href="https://about.me/katiecompa">Katie Compa'</a>s monthly show, Happy Place Comedy, has been recognized by Time Out New York. It was one of <a href="https://www.timeout.com/newyork/blog/20-amazing-things-to-do-in-nyc-this-week-021217">twenty amazing things to do in NYC this week</a>, AND was given <a href="https://www.timeout.com/newyork/comedy/happy-place-comedy?icid=np--search--searchSection43">a four star review</a> by the magazine!<br />
<br />
Don't miss out, we're at <a href="https://qedastoria.com/">QED Astoria</a> every third Thursday of the month at 9PM!TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-33389209361072932412015-01-29T13:43:00.000-05:002015-01-29T13:45:40.647-05:00Cabernet and A: An Adult Pretty Little Liars PodcastNeed a new podcast to listen to?<br />
Give a listen to my new podcast with the fabulous comedian and <a href="http://www.mtv.com/shows/girl_code/">Girl Code</a> producer, <a href="http://www.twitter.com/thechelseawhite">Chelsea White</a>.<br />
You can find it if you search Cabernet and A on iTunes and Stitcher or you can just follow us on Podbean:<br />
<a href="http://cabernetanda.podbean.com/">http://cabernetanda.podbean.com/</a><br />
The podcast is mostly about Pretty Little Liars. Sure, Pretty Little Liars is an ABC Family show targeted to teens, but our podcast is not for kids. The Cabernet part is for the wine we consume/review each week as we discuss show themes, mysteries, and then go on tangents about other TV Shows, pop culture references, heck we even debated Wawa Vs. Sheetz.<br />
So, you don't have to love Pretty Little Liars to be into this new podcast. Give a try and please give us a rating.<br />
<br />
Cabernet and A Podcast About Pretty Little Liars<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="100" id="audio_iframe" scrolling="no" src="http://www.podbean.com/media/player/3zv9m-536c99/initByJs/1/auto/1" width="100%"></iframe>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-24735427079367002772014-09-10T21:14:00.000-04:002014-09-10T21:14:19.196-04:00I Have A Tale To Tell...I'm going to be storytelling on Jenny Rubin's show!<br />
The Jenny Rubin Show<br />
October 9th at 8pm<br />
At <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/2A/189443587764170">2A </a>in NYC<br />
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<br />TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-7730196667950199762014-06-17T11:10:00.000-04:002014-06-17T11:10:16.734-04:00June 2014 Comedy ShowsI'm taking the comedy on the road this month.<div>
Boston I'll be at The Gas at Great Scott on Friday June 20th at 7pm</div>
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<a href="http://www.greatscottboston.com/details.php?sid=13968">Click Here for Tickets!</a></div>
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Long Island, I'm coming home! I'll be at Jason's Vineyard on June 28th at 8pm</div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.eventbrite.com/e/june-28-2014-laughnyc-presents-its-all-about-making-you-laughwine-comedy-show-jasons-vineyard-tickets-11777397513">Click Here for Tickets!</a></div>
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<div>
I'm always on YouTube for those who don't travel. </div>
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUWiGg8ErCA&feature=share&list=UUQkrUZORoIO_tqlBJ3J4QXw&index=3">Click Here for Video</a></div>
TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-50893076636880798482014-02-23T14:31:00.001-05:002014-02-23T14:47:26.440-05:00Which Kind of Serial Killer Are You?My brother called me the other day and left me a message:<br />
"Hey Sue, I'm driving in the car and was thinking about all those personality quizzes people keep posting on Facebook. They are always so sweet and make you feel better about yourself. I think it would hilarious if there was one like ' which serial killer are you?' What do you think? Could you make something like that?"<br />
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Yes, Mike, yes I can.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4dEWEiBKJ20kNlfdVOCDF6y6k4MFjHmCW3fHRgjPfi-mrTRvp1yjZ5FUp_323Bc5IWzddXlvM-9KObTcC-HR5M5PW71qlKHRbH8zJ6o19oIkaVT4i5FX7_Q6fVsY3tNI_mCM8Iw/s1600/tv-and-movie-serial-killers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4dEWEiBKJ20kNlfdVOCDF6y6k4MFjHmCW3fHRgjPfi-mrTRvp1yjZ5FUp_323Bc5IWzddXlvM-9KObTcC-HR5M5PW71qlKHRbH8zJ6o19oIkaVT4i5FX7_Q6fVsY3tNI_mCM8Iw/s1600/tv-and-movie-serial-killers.jpg" height="320" width="267" /></a></div>
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<br />
Click here to take <a href="http://uquiz.com/onkutl">"What Kind of Serial Killer Are You"</a><br />
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<br />TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-78425447850505454942014-02-23T13:51:00.001-05:002014-02-23T13:51:57.470-05:00I Got It On Steinway<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've lived in Astoria, NY for about ten years now. When I first moved here I did what I always do whenever I'm in a new place, I watched the local news. While I was watching the amazing N<a href="http://www.ny1.com/">ew York 1</a> I saw a commercial with a woman with a Janice-from-Friends-esq accent tawk about all the great things on Steinway. I thought it was hysterical. I told everyone about it.<br />
No one ever saw it.<br />
It was like my mind manifested a crazy ridiculous commercial.<br />
While I still stand by my claim that it was a legit commercial, I realized the only way to make this hallucination a reality was to make it. I decided then and there I would make this video.<br />
And 10 years later, I finally did with the help of <a href="http://chelseawhitecomedy.wordpress.com/">Chelsea White</a>, <a href="http://thejesswood.com/">Jess Wood</a> and <a href="http://www.chrisdoucette.com/comedy/home/">Chris Doucette</a>.<br />
About 5 days ago we posted it, and thanks to the fellow lovers of Steinway, Astoria, and bad New York accents we've had over 1,500 views!<br />
I'm in love with the fact that the commercial that's made me chuckle for a decade is now cracking others up.<br />
I hope you enjoy it, share it, and get to Steinway to see just how wonderfully crazy this street is, today!!<br />
<br />TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-77609739024320052502013-12-13T10:37:00.000-05:002014-01-19T19:33:00.789-05:00Astoria DisturbiaMy mother is always very worried about me living in the city. Even though:<br />
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<ul>
<li>I've lived in Queens for 10 years</li>
<li>She used to work in the city when Times Square wasn't Disney Land</li>
<li>I live in an extremely safe neighborhood</li>
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I reassure her of the safety of my neighborhood often. So, this morning while walking the streets I love so very much, when I saw roads blocked off and tons of police all I could think of was </div>
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<i>Crap. Someone died. </i><br />
<i>This is gonna hit the news! </i><br />
<i>My mom watches the news all day! </i><br />
<i>I</i><i>'ll never be able to convince her it's safe to walk at night again..</i></div>
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<i>I bet there's a serial killer. Watch, they found a ton of bodies. </i><br />
<i>I live next to Dexter. </i></div>
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As I walked closer, I noticed that one of the cops wasn't dressed in uniform. </div>
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<i>Damn, they have an undercover dude. I bet it's like The Wire. There were drug murders, and they found bodies in that house that's all boarded up.</i></div>
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Then, I finally get to the scene.<br />
The blocked off street.<br />
The cop cars. </div>
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The van with all the camera equipment.</div>
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Turns out, they were filming <i>Nurse Jackie.</i></div>
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I wasn't that far off though.. it did involve a TV Show. </div>
TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-47563660440507870952013-09-02T15:19:00.001-04:002013-09-02T15:19:17.309-04:00Makin' Memes, Makin' MoneyI'm spending most of my days and nights watching TV, taking screenshots of shows I'm watching, making those shots into memes - and then tweeting and Facbooking about those shows and memes. I do all of this for money, which is unfreakin' believable. Seriously, my mom doesn't even believe me. I call her and when I tell her what I do for a living she replies, "Susie-Q, are you sure that's what they are paying you to do? I mean, are you supposed to be watching all that TV?"<br />
Yes, and it. is. glorious. Thank you <a href="http://tvland.com/">TV Land</a>!<br />
Since my life is less about going out on the town lately, I figured I'd continue the blogging hiatus and take my musings to Tumblr aptly named, <a href="http://thesuefunke.tumblr.com/">The Sue Funke Tumblr</a>.<br />
<br />TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-21870980827247749382013-05-07T13:23:00.003-04:002013-05-07T13:23:31.030-04:00Exciting StuffNot only am I the current voice of <a href="http://twitter.com/TVLand">TV Land on Twitter</a> and Facebook, but I also got a shout-out from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/1a38fdfe0e/15-of-the-funniest-stand-up-comedienne-s-you-should-be-following#slide14">Funny or Die.</a><br />
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Damn, it feels good to be a social media gangsta.TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-15961821217865021822013-01-08T16:17:00.001-05:002013-01-08T16:17:51.192-05:00Sue Funke Stand Up Comedy Live in AstoriaI'm going to venture to a show where I'm not taking pictures of Drag Queens. Instead, I'll be performing stand-up live at the Mosaic Lounge in Astoria. Find out more details<a href="http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com/2013/01/astoria-stand-up-january-17-2013.html"> here</a>, or click the "See Me Live" button.<br />
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And now a picture of me and Latrice Royale.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCoh_svp0qlDr_t6GuzIEOD_8yS0EcaxFRUJOvXU3aXFdFjJUUXXBdJgB7Asr5nWkAyKkdQD0ovNHgsGtLAacOfE1XW5qxQBne-4ZdjgL4tKokTpw8xs-WVF7uV6foSfdfZF5wtA/s1600/latrice+royale+and+sue+funke+are+friends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCoh_svp0qlDr_t6GuzIEOD_8yS0EcaxFRUJOvXU3aXFdFjJUUXXBdJgB7Asr5nWkAyKkdQD0ovNHgsGtLAacOfE1XW5qxQBne-4ZdjgL4tKokTpw8xs-WVF7uV6foSfdfZF5wtA/s320/latrice+royale+and+sue+funke+are+friends.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
I really can't get enough of this photo.TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-69230553019827751092013-01-04T20:35:00.004-05:002013-01-04T20:35:56.798-05:00Every Day I Say HelloIn an attempt to make good on a bet, because why else would people be motivated to do things, I am currently meeting a new man every day of 2013. You can keep up with this challenge here:<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://365introductions.wordpress.com/">http://365introductions.wordpress.com/</a></div>
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TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-29654383731952602352012-09-22T15:30:00.004-04:002012-09-22T15:37:57.351-04:00Where Do You Go, My FunkelyEver not see people and you feel like it's been maybe a month, but really it's been a year and a half?<br />
This just happened to me at <a href="http://www.thefour-facedliar.com/">The Four Faced Liar</a> and I realized, I must've been doing something with myself.<br />
Here's what I came up with:<br />
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I tried online dating...
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-4anLfc2HNY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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and as you can see it makes me retract my head and talk out of the side of my mouth as if I had a stroke.<br />
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I advocated for women's rights in a rape PSA (Thanks to<a href="http://3rdwheelcomedy.com/3rd_Wheel_Comedy/Welcome.html"> 3rd Wheel Comedy</a>'s Annie Solstad for the Invite)<br />
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/_w18BOC7wxI/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_w18BOC7wxI&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_w18BOC7wxI&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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I've <a href="http://newnownext.tumblr.com/">tumbled for newnownext</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1jDRE9vPjGOLnK5ykPkSMUJW_UBrp_cLy61ta40EwPKpabspaWndPvDU576CS4ONNqdDvu5aMUbesHk-PBcCkaCCsMYex6nRjVeDVAWqHX8QxxCyIlbmB-ORLJVya9ImJw0ZRg/s1600/newnownext+amanda+bynes+lindsay+lohan.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1jDRE9vPjGOLnK5ykPkSMUJW_UBrp_cLy61ta40EwPKpabspaWndPvDU576CS4ONNqdDvu5aMUbesHk-PBcCkaCCsMYex6nRjVeDVAWqHX8QxxCyIlbmB-ORLJVya9ImJw0ZRg/s320/newnownext+amanda+bynes+lindsay+lohan.JPG" width="283" /></a></div>
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And of course, hung out with some queens..</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgON9b1CamAhyphenhyphenzoD0PI5Sr0RI76oTa2rDNTXd8LF2dqskDFnGUiSYVS9LnJSvbMDLIoAPB8GRV5uSsg42hAnXtWxox-ABRa2qbSrz335Dj9XSqFjv_OTGw8INvLZHRRHyJb6R1khA/s1600/Sue+Funke+and+Latrice+Royale+RuPauls+Drag+Race+Season+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgON9b1CamAhyphenhyphenzoD0PI5Sr0RI76oTa2rDNTXd8LF2dqskDFnGUiSYVS9LnJSvbMDLIoAPB8GRV5uSsg42hAnXtWxox-ABRa2qbSrz335Dj9XSqFjv_OTGw8INvLZHRRHyJb6R1khA/s320/Sue+Funke+and+Latrice+Royale+RuPauls+Drag+Race+Season+4.jpg" width="312" /></a></div>
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I've gone to <a href="http://www.nyspacastle.com/eng/main/main.php">Spa Castle</a> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAipiad7AG59T2AzhJbxafL9SfPwc5M05hI6fQhJ-U0IzB7E7zQIfd7JOsuTgptxEzqLqH3hMr3lBDcNRfaYbPspsL1H9_e_ErCpy_hoVrmRaf0h0k6CCULxYpg6LvQlaG1aABA/s1600/jade+sauna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiAipiad7AG59T2AzhJbxafL9SfPwc5M05hI6fQhJ-U0IzB7E7zQIfd7JOsuTgptxEzqLqH3hMr3lBDcNRfaYbPspsL1H9_e_ErCpy_hoVrmRaf0h0k6CCULxYpg6LvQlaG1aABA/s1600/jade+sauna.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My happy place.<br />
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I've spent time at home.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVxxFrpHwjE7XefpFwz7lqMdSj4zwF-KywvSkXXDbe9aSPLlbSN0hr2r5SI_n2mO5HkRfF2eRsyHzNHfM9j6JmshpS3TdZ-OQO3-smT81gp_9nHxC8tlKgHysKffoCFi0UOO1Qw/s1600/outdoorsy-getting-flirting-ecard-someecards.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVVxxFrpHwjE7XefpFwz7lqMdSj4zwF-KywvSkXXDbe9aSPLlbSN0hr2r5SI_n2mO5HkRfF2eRsyHzNHfM9j6JmshpS3TdZ-OQO3-smT81gp_9nHxC8tlKgHysKffoCFi0UOO1Qw/s320/outdoorsy-getting-flirting-ecard-someecards.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've gone to and am going to be in weddings. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgow7sDTh-UxpVoXHz4jGboUvytiAGK1w6VzGTAkq8y_yPG3mFrfL2snaPYfrN2KVzQndWj09zDo7z16BQ2NcfaS7i909BX6uvcK0hW_OqZlCCVgzFurS0PozV1fjvMaN81JL44oA/s1600/wedding+money.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgow7sDTh-UxpVoXHz4jGboUvytiAGK1w6VzGTAkq8y_yPG3mFrfL2snaPYfrN2KVzQndWj09zDo7z16BQ2NcfaS7i909BX6uvcK0hW_OqZlCCVgzFurS0PozV1fjvMaN81JL44oA/s1600/wedding+money.JPG" /></a></div>
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And I am still doing stand-up here and there, <a href="http://www.greenwichtreehouse.com/fun/Home.html">every Tuesday night at the Treehouse</a>, still.</div>
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But I haven't blogged much for myself. I'm not saying that is going to change, but In figured I might as well say where I've been, it's only decent. </div>
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If you're ever on Twitter you can find me:</div>
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<a href="http://twitter.com/TheSueFunke">@TheSueFunke</a></div>
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<a href="http://twitter.com/ILuvTVMoreThanU">@ILuvTVMoreThanU</a> - where I live tweet TV shows for myself</div>
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<a href="http://twitter.comnewnownext/">@NewNowNext</a> -where I live tweet TV shows for money</div>
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Oh, and in case you were wondering, this blog is totally titled after this song:<br />
La Bouche's Where Do You Go, My Lovely</div>
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TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-50226579756364578672012-04-03T09:05:00.000-04:002012-04-03T09:08:50.122-04:00April 16th, 8:30PM, Cornelia St. Cafe, Be There!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjzwRDJGF-VFuB5464GkzrLHs1wXGz7SmDcrzjMVR3DLPZb9lNBaAQlbROB1G5tYLG5yHe3u35tQpGIIf9wz1CY-L238XDuIpyJ8WTJj9m-zPZwykl2I_8Sg74UihewwiTLlDvBQ/s1600/471844_429420423740448_409718705710620_1792231_1090234823_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjzwRDJGF-VFuB5464GkzrLHs1wXGz7SmDcrzjMVR3DLPZb9lNBaAQlbROB1G5tYLG5yHe3u35tQpGIIf9wz1CY-L238XDuIpyJ8WTJj9m-zPZwykl2I_8Sg74UihewwiTLlDvBQ/s400/471844_429420423740448_409718705710620_1792231_1090234823_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5727160532203310962" /></a>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-90240953176284956012012-03-31T13:06:00.002-04:002012-04-01T11:40:41.100-04:00Post St. Patrick's Day Boston Set March 2012<span><iframe width="315" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gZ6PmQgfb8g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></span><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>Filmed using my iPhone4 by Samantha Tucci, who is obviously sitting next to Will Barrett, I mean, come on - that laugh. </span></div><div><span>Thanks, pals! </span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span>For live show schedule please visit <a href="http://SueFunkeComedy.blogspot.com">Sue Funke Comedy</a>, or click the See Me Live button at the top of this page.</span></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-61529689507434113342012-02-19T12:13:00.002-05:002012-02-19T12:25:54.511-05:00I No Longer Sit and Memorize Lyrics<span ><span style="font-size: 100%;">I remember when I was 13, sitting in my bedroom with the door closed and the music blasting, reading liner notes like my life depended on it. </span></span><div><span ><span style="font-size: 100%;">I was </span>obsessed<span style="font-size: 100%;"> with finding new music. Music that was on the radio. Music that wasn't on the radio. Music that wasn't part of the main stream... </span></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">That's right, ska, industrial, and even some hardcore punk tracks would rotate on my 6-disc changer.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">I told myself, "I love music so much. I'm never going to be one of those lame adults that just listens to what they listened to in high school and college. I'm not gonna be the person who only knows new music because it's what MTV or some TV show told them to like."</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">And today, while I was listening to <a href="http://open.spotify.com/track/2MN6G2691yD8bebkuHom3C">Poe on Spotify</a> and reading Lady Gaga tweets I realized the inevitable; I've become that adult.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">I know every word of Weezer's blue album, but I had no idea there was a red album released along the way.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">Where did I fall off the music band wagon? How did I get so far removed from the basement punk shows? </div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">I grew up, that's how. I don't have the luxury of sitting around listening to music for hours upon hours... there's <a href="http://ilovetvmorethanyou.com">TV to watch</a>.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">My 14 year old niece is no help. She loves the 90s and other classic rock. Don't get me wrong, it makes her Aunt Sue proud when she tells me 'fun facts' about Nirvana as if I didn't live, eat and breath them when I was her age. I was just hoping she'd be my lifeline into what's new.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">As for the basement punk shows, I've gone to some in recent years, thanks to my fantastically musical pals who are in kick ass bands. But, I don't spend time looking for shows in zines any longer.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; ">Probably because no one puts out zines anymore. Probably because there are no record stores anymore.</div><div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div><span ><span style="font-size: 100%;">As you grow older you change, and sure parts of that suck. I guess I'm just glad that when I was a teen consuming every band that I could I cast a wide net and got some great </span>angsty<span style="font-size: 100%;"> music that helps me feel like a kid again when I need it.</span></span></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-78785560666411823032012-02-10T12:56:00.002-05:002012-02-10T13:00:37.276-05:00New Weekly Feature on I Love TV More Than YouIf you've missed my weekly TV and movie recaps that I used to do on The Screening Room, don't fret a minute more. I've started a weekly blog on <a href="http://www.ilovetvmorethanyou.com/2012/02/friday-funke-your-weekly-tv-recap-and.html">I Love TV More Than You</a>. It recaps and highlights the best, worst, and most interesting things I've noticed while watching TV all week.<div><br /></div><div>Don't worry, it won't be all about <a href="http://www.cbs.com/shows/how_i_met_your_mother/">HIMYM</a> repeats, even though that is how I spend the majority of my time each week. </div><div><br /></div><div>I hope you enjoy, comment, and check back every week for Funke Fridays! </div><div><br /></div><div>PS - <a href="http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com/2012/02/love-live-comedy-in-february.html">New Live shows have also been posted on Sue Funke Comedy</a></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-52657678227821290942012-01-30T17:42:00.001-05:002012-01-30T17:44:28.991-05:00Appearance on NY1<a href="http://queens.ny1.com/content/154990/queens-native-laughs-it-up-with-new-venture">http://queens.ny1.com/content/154990/queens-native-laughs-it-up-with-new-venture</a><br /><br />I was interviewed about the new club in my neighborhood, The Laughing Devil in LIC.<br />No, it wasn't Pat Kiernan, but it was Queens News...so, there's that!TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-78130124139869742812011-12-03T11:11:00.014-05:002011-12-03T12:41:32.320-05:00What I've Learned in My 30 YearsIn 2 days I will be 30 years old. <div>I've lived through 4 decades; 80s, 90s, aughts and the...what are we calling the right nows?</div><div>It's not a very long time, but it's old enough to have learned some things, seen some shit, etc.</div><div><br /></div><div>The other day the Daily News ran a story about a fellow <a href="http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_person_in_their_30's_called">trentagenarian</a>, Kirsten Dunst. I will give you the slapdash rundown (and the<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/kirsten-dunst-i-thought-a-lot-figured-life-time-i-turn-30-article-1.985605?localLinksEnabled=false"> link</a> if you want<i> all</i> the details.)</div><div>The title says "<i>I thought I'd have ‘a lot more figured out’ with my life by the time I turn 30 "</i> - and what she means is, "I thought I'd have a baby by now!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Sigh. </div><div><br /></div><div>Being a single female at 30, and being sad about not having a man and a baby, is exactly what people think we're all like.</div><div>Thanks for keeping that stereo-type going, Kirsten! Oh, and I am so sorry to hear you have skin that turns red when you touch it. Seriously, condolences.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, in response, I'd like to share all the things that I have figured out to show that a 30 year old single woman can actually feel somewhat fulfilled - even without a baby.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is what I've figured out:</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>Treat people like you'd like to be treated. This will make you a horrible sales person, but a wonderful friend.</li><li>No one is perfect, so stop trying to strive for it. Try to always do your best, and when you fall short, learn from it.</li><li>Learning is important: Pay attention in school, always read all the directions, and remember these skills when someone is teaching you in the work place.</li><li>Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including yourself and your loved ones - heck even your casual acquaintances. While accountability is important, so is giving people slack. </li><li>While sex is important, sleeping with someone - actually sleeping with someone - and waking up well-rested is pretty special.</li><li>A good night's sleep can be better than a late night out. There will always be more parties and events. If you're feeling gross and tired, you can stay in.</li><li>Your health starts at sleeping well and putting good food in your body. No fast food joint has ever had your health in mind when putting together their menus. Try to make your own food as often as possible. </li><li>You should absolutely stay up to see the sun rise more than once in your life. And at least one of those times it should be a shock to see the sun when it rises.</li><li>People think you should strive to be happy - but happy is a pretty extreme emotion. I think we should all strive to be content. </li><li>Humans are not dogs, you can treat old humans new tricks. </li><li>People can change themselves - you cannot change people - you can influence, impact - but the change, that's all within the person's mind and free will.</li><li>Unless you have a skill I am unaware of, you cannot read people's minds. Don't ever try to speak for other people or act a certain way because you think they want you to be that way. Just think for yourself.</li><li>Money is important. You should know how much you have and keep yourself in check before you spend it. Make sure you're always investing in the necessities before spending it on expensive clothing, accessories and booze. </li><li>Necessities for human survival are: Food, Water, Shelter and seasonally appropriate clothing.</li><li>Spend money on comfortable shoes, not cute, trendy shoes.</li><li>People are all humans. CEOs, popular actors, superfulous famous people, geniuses, clowns - are all people. They poop, feel sad, ashamed, and sometimes all three at once - So, never let anyone intimidate you by thinking they're better than you. Treat everyone the same (see bullet #1 re: treating people)</li><li>Age is a number, but be proud that you made it to whatever age you're at. </li><li>Don't wait until January 31st to make resolutions</li><li>We spend way too much of our time thinking of how we can't achieve things. Focus on ways you can achieve your goals and you'll be more successful. Every person I know that is successful is pretty positive regarding their career, love, friends, and overall life. Negativity is only cool in gothic teen circles and bitter comedians - I've been in both. I'd rather hang with the positive people. </li><li>You figure out math equations, not life. Life is just something you live.</li></ul>With all this said, do I wish I had a wonderful husband and darling child right now? Well, considering the men I've dated, not really (no offense dudes). I would love to have these things eventually, but I would also love a lucrative writing career and a beautiful house on the Hudson River line.</div><div>I've met people who didn't fall in love until they were 50, started a new career at 60, and have seen people raise newborns when they were in their 70s. Life happens at different paces for different people. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, am I where I wanted to be at 30?</div><div>I didn't even think I'd make it to 30. I just kind of figured I'd be in my 20s do something stupid or have something random happen to me - I'm a little morbid that way. </div><div>I have a retirement fund that I don't think I'll ever use because I'm pretty sure I'll work forever.</div><div>Basically, I don't really think about what I will be at any age. </div><div>I think about who I am and what I can do to be better tomorrow and try and start doing it today. </div><div><br /></div><div>But really, all I do know - is that I don't know nothin'</div><div><br /></div><div><iframe width="310" height="310" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5HtUnubXAO4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></div><div><br /></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-26187523922160986882011-11-23T10:00:00.002-05:002011-11-23T10:21:21.669-05:00Comedic Copywriter for HireI've been freelancing part time lately while I work on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/thesuefunke#p/a/u/0/EK3aD4NHIek">comedy</a>, <a href="http://funkeindustries.tumblr.com/">Funke Industries</a>, and other pursuits. Here are a couple of my most recent posts to collect and share with your friends.<div><br /></div><div><a href="http://www.franchisehelp.com/blog/small-businesses-shine-in-the-wake-of-black-friday">Small Businesses Shine in the Wake of Black Friday</a></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://111lexwineblog.com/how-to-bake-brie-and-impress-your-friends.htm">How to Bake Brie and Impress Your Friends</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-29755051401924028952011-11-14T10:45:00.003-05:002011-11-14T10:47:46.692-05:00Jokes on Blog Translated on Stage<object style="height: 290px; width: 240px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vtaly-gk1VA?version=3&feature=player_profilepage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vtaly-gk1VA?version=3&feature=player_profilepage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="240" height="260"></object>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-76231967689045028892011-11-09T19:01:00.002-05:002011-11-09T19:04:40.677-05:00Funke Industries Takes Tumblr!The company that started as a joke is now a semi-successful clothing and water bottle line. So, I've decided to take it to the streets, er, I mean Funke Industries is now on tumblr!<div><br /></div><div>Follow the adventures of witty sayings on fun things.</div><div><br /></div><div><a href="http://funkeindustries.tumblr.com/">http://funkeindustries.tumblr.com/</a></div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-20516497219987416332011-11-04T11:16:00.012-04:002011-11-04T14:05:35.002-04:00The Grand Master Funke Cleanse<div>WARNING: If the idea of people pooing bothers you, you might not want to read this.</div><div><br /></div>I decided I needed to go on the <a href="http://themastercleanse.org/">master cleanse</a> while I was eating my second <a href="http://www.mammaginaspizza.com/food_gallery/Chicken%20Roll.jpg">chicken roll</a> in bed last week.<br /><div>Since losing my job, I have gone off Weight Watchers and went on the depression* diet. This is basically a diet where it doesn't matter what you eat, it's more like - Yaay! You're eating! You're not sitting around moping! Whatever you want, you go for it. </div><div>While that is healthy to do for a short time, it's not the best thing for you when you eat a chicken roll a night, sometimes followed by chicken nachos and a few beers. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, the master cleanse seemed like the best solution. Clean out all the crap I've been eating and change my hunger patterns so I stop craving crappy foods.</div><div> </div><div>The odd thing about this choice is, I've always found this 'cleanse' ridiculous. How is it good for someone to not eat and drink lemonade with cayanne pepper in it? It sounds more like a torture diet than a healthy one. </div><div>But still, I've known a lot of people who have done it and sung it's praises. I figured, what's the harm in trying?</div><div>The following is my account of being on the cleanse:</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Day 1 - Ease in:</b> I decided to go the route of drinking orange juice and eating only vegetables. This wasn't so bad. I was able to go about my day, even hung out with my writing group at a restaurant. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Mood</b>: Swings. I went from happy and fine, to sad and discontent for no good reason... well, except perhaps for not eating. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Night 1 - Salt Water Flush</b>: This is when I really started questioning the validity of the cleanse. They tell you to purchase Sea Salt, mix it with water, drink it and you'll instantly poo away all those toxic things living in you.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Reaction:</b> It didn't really do anything except make me feel like I was swallowing an entire ocean wave.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Mood</b>: I feel asleep by 9pm feeling like I ate the ocean.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Day 2</b> - Woke up feeling OK. Finally had that cleansing dump that was promised. The first thought I had after, "I get the same result from eating a good steak. Maybe this isn't worth it."</div><div><br /></div><div><b>I drank the lemonade</b> - The lemonade mix contains cayenne pepper, fresh squeezed lemons and maple syrup. </div><div><br /></div><div>Drink #1</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Reaction</b>: The first one I drank was fine. It tasted great and actually filled me up.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Mood:</b> Perky. I was feeling light, I was excited to keep going.</div><div><br /></div><div>Drink #2</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Reaction</b>: Also filling. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Mood</b>: Not feeling awful, this is actually pretty OK.</div><div><br /></div><div>Drink #3</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Reaction</b>: This isn't so bad...am I now anorexic? I don't mind not eating.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Mood: </b>Really sad. </div><div>I was feeling woozy and couldn't go out that night. I also had to leave the city early cause I was afraid of passing out... and my tummy hurt - Now, I remember why I don't drink lemonade. My stomach and acidity don't mix well.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is when things started to go downhill. I got home at 5pm and went to bed.</div><div>My stomach was burning from the lemonade so I didn't want to have another. I was basically starving myself and feeling like I couldn't do anything else the rest of the week if I were to continue.</div><div><br /></div><div>My thoughts as I wrote them at this point:</div><div><i>I'm not going to be able to work-out at all this week. I don't know if I can see people, because I just want to sleep. I don't want to drink another one of those because the lemonade burns my stomach. I think I'm just gonna go to sleep now and try again tomorrow...but if I only consumed three today that means I'm not doing it right. ...I can't think thoughts. My brain is dead and dying. Oh my god, I'm just anorexic now, but I actually like food and don't think I'm fat so this is REALLY dumb. I'm dumb. I don't really want to do this anymore.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>I texted a friend of mine who is pregnant. We both had the same symptoms of fatigue and brain clouding, but I'm not growing anything in my uterus. This was seeming even more ridiculous. </div><div><br /></div><div>I broke down at 7pm and bought a salad. </div><div>It was the best decision I ever made. Best tasting salad ever.</div><div>I was then able to run errands and complete a few other things I needed to do before passing out again, at 9pm.</div><div><br /></div><div>Am I ashamed that I didn't make the 10 days of cleansing? Not at all. </div><div><br /></div><div>I did this so I could stop feeling like I had to eat pizza, or fries, in order to feel ok. Now, I'm just happy to eat healthy again. That's what I wanted, and that is what resulted. </div><div><br /></div><div>Do I think people who keep doing the cleanse are kinda crazy pants? Yeah, but the thing that I was reminded of during the cleanse is that I'm an adult. When you're an adult you can eat, or not eat, whatever you want. So, if you feel the need to drink lemons and sugar and spicy shit all day - go for it you adult, you. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm gonna stick to what I learned from a nutritionist recently: Fat, Protein and Carbs and Fiber are necessary. And Fruits and vegetables count as carbs. </div><div>Fat helps your brain function, and while it's good to not over do it, cutting it out makes you feel stupid.</div><div><br /></div><div>Just how stupid did I get? </div><div>I DVR'ed the Kardashian wedding; It was awful. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*I want to clarify, I'm not in a serious depression. It's more the upheaval type of depression where your life is completely changed and you get slowed down and bummed out easily. I'm actually quite positive about my career and am happy to no longer work where I was working.</div>TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22650810.post-85779484837168331672011-10-28T10:43:00.002-04:002011-10-28T10:53:00.886-04:00So, This Happened<object width="360" height="228" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><br /> <param name="flashvars" value="vid=18158782&autoplay=false&style=ub5D1719:lcCD311B:ocffffff:ucffffff"/><br /> <param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"/><br /> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"/><br /> <param name="src" value="http://www.ustream.tv/flash/viewer.swf"/><br /> <embed flashvars="vid=18158782&autoplay=false&style=ub5D1719:lcCD311B:ocffffff:ucffffff" width="360" height="228" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" src="http://www.ustream.tv/flash/viewer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br /></object><br /><br /><a href="http://www.ustream.tv/" style="padding: 2px 0px 4px; width: 400px; background: #ffffff; display: block; color: #000000; font-weight: normal; font-size: 10px; text-decoration: underline; text-align: center;" target="_blank">Video streaming by Ustream</a><br /><br />This morning I was on Too Early LIVE! with Glennis and Matt McCarthy. It was totally worth getting up at 5:50AM this morning to go chat with these fine funny people. <br /><br />I haven't woken up that early when it wasn't for travel since I worked for Starbucks in 2003. When I worked for Starbucks, I'd get up at 4AM and drive across Long Island passing like 20 Starbucks to get to the 1 that I worked for and get the store set up for a 6AM opening. <br /><br />This was different though, because today, someone made ME coffee. Look who's moving on up..and across town again for coffee. It is a pretty wonderful beverage.<br /><br />Hope you enjoy the show. You can watch Matt & Glennis every Mon-Fri at 7:30 AM on their <a href="http://ustre.am/DEZZ">Ustream channel</a>. <br /><br />You can see me live at comedy shows listed <a href="http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com">here</a> and please check out some of the merchandise I created on <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/funkeindustries">my cafe press store</a> if you like funny sayings on things.TheSueFunkehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01050561025801334413noreply@blogger.com0