Saturday, June 07, 2008

I Love My Incestuous, Gay Cats

Pink's kittens are brothers.
And as boys do, they often fight and tumble around the ground together.
But ever since we got them they had this habit that was kind of awkward to walk in on.

See, the kittens sometimes like to 69.
Pink and I didn't know what to do the first time, so we just left the room.

"Um, so, they're gay?"
"I think they might be cleaning each other."
"Cleanliness ended about ten minutes ago."

After going to the vet, Pink asked about the boys sexual deviance:

PINK: The vet said it's really bad and we have to separate them anytime we see them going at it.

FUNKE: Why?

PINK: I dunno, it's bad for their nipples or something.

FUNKE: Maybe the vet just doesn't understand their love. Maybe she hates gays.

PINK: What?

FUNKE: She made that nipple shit up. I think she just doesn't like homosexual behavior.

PINK: I dunno, she seemed to think it was bad for them. She just seemed real adamant about not letting them do it.

FUNKE: I bet if cats could marry people would oppose gay cat marriage, too.

PINK: I think you're taking this a little far.

FUNKE: Well, I think your vet is a homophob.

PINK: They're doing it again!

FUNKE: Don't separate them! They'll only grow up to resent you! I love you boys -no matter who you love!

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