Oh Comedy, You Whore

People who can't get laid pay for it.

People who don't get laid and are neurotic about it, pay to do stand up comedy.

I am often humbled when people often comment, "you actually pay for stage time? they don't pay you?"

Nope. In fact I did an open mic tonight where I had to pay $5 and the audience got to pay $2.

Now, I understand it's a business, and I'm honestly grateful for the stage time but come on-
How many jokes about comedians being poor have to be made before we're thrown some sort of bone?

I guess if we were thrown a bone we wouldn't be doing this, hey-oh!

A couple of months ago* I stopped doing stand-up. I had a lot of stuff to do, there was a shitstorm, there was shit storm aftermath, I was disenchanted with my horrific audition, my direction in life, and my wallet always being empty.

I started this blog thinking - I'll go back to writing, I mean it was what I got my degree in.

But then it happened, I was at a bar** and I was talking to friends and everyone laughed at me, and then went on talking.

Um, excuse me, I would like to remain center of attention, I've got some other material for you...

That is when I realized that maybe I really do put the funk in dysfunctional and that I'm really only comfortable in front of a mic.

So, I went to an open mic and did my set and realized -

I am coo-coo for comedy
I'm addicted to sweet lady stage time.
I'm riding the black mic
I'm addicted to the adrenaline high...

I am so desperate for it I will give up my free time, my habitual television habbits (not entirely, thank you DVR!), I will give up any chance at finding a man, and yes -

I will pay for it.


The weird thing is, I don't really want to be famous. All I want is to travel around and make more people laugh, make minimal money and keep my darling day job.

Well, I can dream....of course dreams are prefaced by sleep, so for now I'm gonna go work on that.


*maybe more, maybe less. There's no sense of time in Sue Funke Land where days can be a week long with 4 hour naps that occur every 20 hours or so.


**I know, what a shock, you're thinking, Sue? at a bar? That's insanity. You're such the teetotaler, come on!
OR
If you know me you're probably thinking - is she going to bring me up? We drink together a lot.
Sorry pal, it's all about me tonight.