I got Nicorette.
And I am flippin' INSANE.
Things people won't tell you about quitting but I now know:
- Nicorette will get you high. You will get this five minute surge of euphoria, soon to be followed with a peppery burning and feeling like you are about to spew.
- Quitting smoking will make your sleep and sleep patterns messed up. I'll be fast asleep dreaming of some hot and steamy love affair (erotic dreams are a side effect, don't judge me.) and then I wake up hanging off the bed in some crazy position wondering if I really did just go do all that I dreamed of... I might have, sleep is so commatose when it hits I have no idea what happens.
- I'm delicate like a flower. I have become such a sensitive wussy. If the homeless dude on the street asks everyone else for change but me, I start thinking I'm not good enough.
- My overall behavior might be crazy on a much higher level. I am lucky enough to have awesome co-workers. There are four of them that I used to smoke cigarettes with everyday. The smoking crew is known for sitting outside with cups of coffee and bitter/stand off behavoir - we are way to cool for all you pink lungs. Now, I am still allowed to go out and chill with them, but I'm scaring them with how antsy and neurotic I'm acting. If I keep this up, none of them will ever want to quit.
- Without a cigarette to plug my mouth, I will say exactly what's on my mind. Oh the inappropriate things I say. It just floods out. Instead of grey puffs of smoke I now just let out big gasps of the madness that are on my mind. Wanna know how I really feel about you or someone else? Get me during a stressful time of day when I would've been sucking down a Parliment, I will lay it all out for you in colorful words and gestures.
With all this insanity though, I have to admit, I am feeling better.
People say "after a week, you know you've beat the addiction".
No, that's not true. It's after the holiday season.
If I can make it through Ground Hog's Day without a cigarette, I'll really feel like I've made it.
2 comments:
One thing I looked forward to when I quit was this moment described by Norm MacDonald:
"I can taste my food. That's one thing. All my food now has this incredible taste. Oh man, everything I eat, I go hey, what kind of food is that there you're giving me? That's a tangy, zingy food there, isn't it? What kind of a tangy zingy...? It's a boiled potato, huh? Remind me to get the recipe."
I'm rooting for you! Gooo ass-flavored gum! The crazy dreams last for about a month, if I remember right.
Whoa...good luck! Nicorette sounds like a ride, what with the potential spewage and erotic dreams...
Thanks for the link, BTW.
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