Warm front at the House of Funke

Hey TheSueFunke readers,
I hate to be rude,
but I have to discuss a party that I had recently at my abode.

You might not have been invited to the housewarming.
But don't take it personally,
it's just because you're a raging alcoholic/needy/annoying/motormouth/crackwhore/underage/
pervert/psycho/bitch/jerk that wasn't cool enough to make the cut of the invite list.

Or
it could've been that because I live with two other people
the number of invitees multiplied rather quickly

...and even though I have a nice spacious place
the thought of 50+ of your mutual nearest and dearest
being that near and dear
could make certain people have a panic attack*.

So with 50 people saying yes to attend,
35 showed up.

It was a great group of 35 random friends that all fit in fine.

As one guest put it, we don't exactly live in an apartment,
we live "in a freakin' mansion".
By NYC standards of apartments, this is true.
The duplex seemed spacious and comfy that night,
and definitely warmed...

On the main level,
as you walked passed the smokers to the inside,
you came into the sparsely used dance floor/living room that held men watching football and awkwardly socializing,
then as you walked down the hall, where people stood drawing on the large sign in sheets,
you might've caught a glimpse further down the hall into my buddy tom's room
where some dude was actually playing a guitar as women sat around,
and if you're at all like me
- you might've pondered for a minute
about going all Belushi on the moment,
but then realized it wasn't cool to make such scene and that no one would
"get the joke" of you breaking the guitar so violently.

You turn to go to the downstairs area,
down the same stairs that we successfully walked the slinky down,
even though some didn't think it could be done.

Downstairs there was a beer pong tournament set up,
with a large amount of the crowd opting to be spectators,
gambling might have gone on as to winners,
but I know nothing, I see nothing, I hear nothing of this tale
some people may or may not speak of.

There was a lot of laughter,
good music (I spent a lot of time on the 6 hour party playlist),

and some random romances.
None that I was involved in though.
I'm giving up on the idea of finding any romance
but that's a story for an entirely different blog post...

Want more dirt on the party night?
Check out Jennie Smash.


*So I get a little nervous and sometimes shake and hyperventilate when I have to be surrounded by large groups...sometimes. It's not like I get all Britney Spears during parties.