Ever wake up and realize you are your mother?
This happened to me when I woke up at 3AM with intense anxiety that presents had to be wrapped immediately.
I got out of bed, turned on some Wings Wonderful Christmas Time and wrapped presents.
Now, it's not just a Christmas thing that my mother would do things such as this. During other high stress times in our family history I can recall mom discussing how she couldn't sleep...The kitchen floor wasn't washed and so, it only made sense to wake up at an ungodly hour and do it.
There was a time when I thought this was crazy behavior. This morning though, it made complete sense. Of course you have to wake up and wrap presents immediately. How else would you sleep with that kind of thought running through your mind?
Perhaps, this isn't a case of Ireneism though.
Maybe, I'm not turning into my mother.
Maybe, I'm just excited for my Christmas present this year.
This Christmas my present to myself is not traveling.
Sadly, that means I'll be missing out in my traditional trip to see my sister and her family in Virginia.
Happily, it means that I will not have to travel.
For those of you regulars on the blog, you may have read the adventure to meet my nephew previously. If not take a gander and tell me if you'd be really into hopping onto another bus for 8 hours through holiday traffic.
I have to say, to not be with family on Christmas somehow seems cosmopolitan to me. It's like a right of passage of an urbanite to have that holiday trip home passed on at one point for some reason or another.
I'll be spending tonight and tomorrow with friends, which is also a wonderful testament to city living. You end up with these friends that become family. We're all in this city together, we need to stand together over something - and gosh darn it, why not eggnog?
Actually, make that Mimosas. I'm allergic to dairy.
The drink Mimosas, not my cat Mimosa ...which I'm also allergic to, but that's an entirely different blog post.
Merry Christmas pals!
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holidays. Show all posts
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Vacation '08
It's no secret that I love New York City, but it gets a little much after a while, and it's great to escape.
Thankfully, my sister lives in pretty much the complete antithesis of New York City -Palmyra, VA.
This little town is right on Lake Monticello, which for those of you that need a history refresher is the estate of the late President Jefferson.
There's no public transportation, everyone seems to know everyone, it's warmer (well 20 instead of 10..ooooh wee!) and I'm hanging out with two kids under 8 years old and a dog. It's a nice change of pace going to bed at 11pm instead of a show.
Last night my nephew asked my sister and I to take him caroling. This was quite the sacrifice for me, not because of the embarrassment or the chilly weather, but I was smoking a really nice Monte Cristo with my brother-in-law which I had to put down because it's a little odd for carrolers in the first place, but one with a stogie seems even more out of place.
We went to the houses that had the cool lights and sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town. We were well recieved. It made me think of what the responses would be if I did this in Queens. Here's my theories of how it would go:
Apartment 1 - door slammed in face
Apartment 2 - "We have no money!"
Apartment 3 - "Que?"
Well, I'm off to go make some sort of confectionary with a hyperactive 7 year old.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate
have great holidays and regular days to all else.
Thankfully, my sister lives in pretty much the complete antithesis of New York City -Palmyra, VA.
This little town is right on Lake Monticello, which for those of you that need a history refresher is the estate of the late President Jefferson.
There's no public transportation, everyone seems to know everyone, it's warmer (well 20 instead of 10..ooooh wee!) and I'm hanging out with two kids under 8 years old and a dog. It's a nice change of pace going to bed at 11pm instead of a show.
Last night my nephew asked my sister and I to take him caroling. This was quite the sacrifice for me, not because of the embarrassment or the chilly weather, but I was smoking a really nice Monte Cristo with my brother-in-law which I had to put down because it's a little odd for carrolers in the first place, but one with a stogie seems even more out of place.
We went to the houses that had the cool lights and sang Santa Claus is Coming to Town. We were well recieved. It made me think of what the responses would be if I did this in Queens. Here's my theories of how it would go:
Apartment 1 - door slammed in face
Apartment 2 - "We have no money!"
Apartment 3 - "Que?"
Well, I'm off to go make some sort of confectionary with a hyperactive 7 year old.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate
have great holidays and regular days to all else.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thoughts on a Fallen Friend
Four months ago to the day today my best friend Joe Powers put on one of the best performances I’d ever seen- this after a week of marathon performances.
For 8 days prior we hung out putting all time and efforts we had into being funny in terms of stand up and sketch to co-produce shows with our sketch group, The Ultimate Experts.
Joe is also my neighbor, and not unlike a sitcom stereo type there were often random drop-ins where I would find myself going about my day and then Joe would be there to eat lunch with me, or distract me with a beer.
On that night four months ago the experts didn’t have their celebration shot that we normally have together afterwards. We just went straight to partying, talking to friends and audience alike. The show we run at the Producer’s Club is a monthly (kinda bi-monthly) which takes place on Fridays at 10pm and ends around midnight. By the time we’ve cleaned up and shut down the bar it’s around 1 or 2 am and we’re all pretty high from the rush of putting on a major production.
That night Joe and I went out on the town with two other pals and had some fun moments, deep conversation, and beer – this could’ve pretty much have read like any other evening we’d shared except for two things:
1. The show was phenomenal that night.
2. Joe fell three stories onto concrete at about 5am
It’s still traumatic to write about, but it’s even worse to think about when you have the actual visual of him lying there in blood. All I could think was, “Not Joe.”
But, alas, it was Joe Powers.
He survived the fall, and after four months has been in and is now out of a coma, couldn’t move the left side of his body – and is now working with therapists to walk, couldn’t talk and is now speaking.
The mind is a really amazing thing, and how the body can heal after such trauma is truly an awesome thing to watch. It’s been a roller coaster these past four months. Joe has his good days and his bad, but he’s moving forward each day – which is something I’m very grateful for.
The thing that makes it all hard, and I’m going to sound selfish, is – I don’t have that best friend around anymore. I went from an everyday pal to a once a week mostly one-sided chat.
It’s hard to go to mics and parties sometimes because I catch myself thinking one of two things:
1. This would be a lot more fun if Joe were here.
2. I really hope no one falls off the building tonight.
Talk about awkward, like that’s not the kinda reputation any gal would want.
“What kinda gal is Sue Funke? – Well, don’t invite her to a party if you wanna walk away from it.”
Oh, that’s awful to think, but really, I just never wanna see that kinda thing twice.
I’m just glad Joe is safe now and recovering, and I hold onto great hope that there will be a day where Joe and I get to do another open mic together, take the train home, grab some tacos off a truck and watch America’s Funniest Home Videos while we discuss comedy and life.
So, what do I want for Christmas?
A hair dryer.
Oh, and Joe Powers. I’d like a fully recovered Joe Powers. I miss him very much.
So, if any of you brain surgeons out there can figure out how to accelerate Traumatic Brain Injury healing, I would really REALLY love that Christmas miracle.
And now some of my favorite moments from the August 22nd Ultimate Experts show:
Joe as Father Barnabus Dempsey
Joe and I play a couple and other dorky things from my Dungeons and Dragons sketch.
For 8 days prior we hung out putting all time and efforts we had into being funny in terms of stand up and sketch to co-produce shows with our sketch group, The Ultimate Experts.
Joe is also my neighbor, and not unlike a sitcom stereo type there were often random drop-ins where I would find myself going about my day and then Joe would be there to eat lunch with me, or distract me with a beer.
On that night four months ago the experts didn’t have their celebration shot that we normally have together afterwards. We just went straight to partying, talking to friends and audience alike. The show we run at the Producer’s Club is a monthly (kinda bi-monthly) which takes place on Fridays at 10pm and ends around midnight. By the time we’ve cleaned up and shut down the bar it’s around 1 or 2 am and we’re all pretty high from the rush of putting on a major production.
That night Joe and I went out on the town with two other pals and had some fun moments, deep conversation, and beer – this could’ve pretty much have read like any other evening we’d shared except for two things:
1. The show was phenomenal that night.
2. Joe fell three stories onto concrete at about 5am
It’s still traumatic to write about, but it’s even worse to think about when you have the actual visual of him lying there in blood. All I could think was, “Not Joe.”
But, alas, it was Joe Powers.
He survived the fall, and after four months has been in and is now out of a coma, couldn’t move the left side of his body – and is now working with therapists to walk, couldn’t talk and is now speaking.
The mind is a really amazing thing, and how the body can heal after such trauma is truly an awesome thing to watch. It’s been a roller coaster these past four months. Joe has his good days and his bad, but he’s moving forward each day – which is something I’m very grateful for.
The thing that makes it all hard, and I’m going to sound selfish, is – I don’t have that best friend around anymore. I went from an everyday pal to a once a week mostly one-sided chat.
It’s hard to go to mics and parties sometimes because I catch myself thinking one of two things:
1. This would be a lot more fun if Joe were here.
2. I really hope no one falls off the building tonight.
Talk about awkward, like that’s not the kinda reputation any gal would want.
“What kinda gal is Sue Funke? – Well, don’t invite her to a party if you wanna walk away from it.”
Oh, that’s awful to think, but really, I just never wanna see that kinda thing twice.
I’m just glad Joe is safe now and recovering, and I hold onto great hope that there will be a day where Joe and I get to do another open mic together, take the train home, grab some tacos off a truck and watch America’s Funniest Home Videos while we discuss comedy and life.
So, what do I want for Christmas?
A hair dryer.
Oh, and Joe Powers. I’d like a fully recovered Joe Powers. I miss him very much.
So, if any of you brain surgeons out there can figure out how to accelerate Traumatic Brain Injury healing, I would really REALLY love that Christmas miracle.
And now some of my favorite moments from the August 22nd Ultimate Experts show:
Joe as Father Barnabus Dempsey
Joe and I play a couple and other dorky things from my Dungeons and Dragons sketch.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Comedy, Family, Food = My Life Right Now
This blog could also be titled:
I'm Broke
Easter The Way Christ Intended - A Lazy Day of Reflection
Lots of great comedy going on right now. I've got a decent March schedule lined-up so far.
This year, I said I'd go to more comedy shows.
I have been really good at doing that.
Unfortunately, comedy somehow leads to social drinking. And social drinking leads to me taking cabs...
and that leads to me eating out of the vending machine at work and constantly complaining about how broke I am.
I don't know if my friends are sick of me saying it, but I sure am.
The fundwatch '08 is just beginning. I've still got the dreaded "t word" to deal with (t is for taxes and it's mighty frightening for me, cause I always owe money).
The brokeness doesn't just effect eating habits though. I'm also unable to spend Easter with the family in Florida this year. This won't be that big of deal, though. My family rarely gathers for Easter.
The first year I lived on my own in fact I started my lone Easter tradition - ordering in lamb, getting a good bottle of wine, and watching TV until I fall asleep.
Sure, it might sound pathetic and borderline alcoholic to you - but to me it's a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday.
My brother Mike's family orders in Chinese and watches movies. This may sound low key, but I believe my sister in law Tina may enjoy this more than Christmas.
The dedication to low key is something so rare for holidays.
Usually holidays mean: high stress family visits, the need for perfection, and extreme over eating
So, even though I'll miss out on this years Florida-Easter-Fest with my brother Matt, my Uncle Bill and my Mom at the house her and my step dad are renting for their "Snow Bird" month, at least I'll get a day of relaxation.
Even if I am broke, I intend on continuing my tradition.
And if I find myself worrying about the cash flow- well, there's always 3 buck chuck.
In other family news - Go check out my sister's book on Amazon.com. This book is going to be hilarious. I know this, because her columns are so freakin' funny.
And I'd say that even if she wasn't my sister.
I'm Broke
Easter The Way Christ Intended - A Lazy Day of Reflection
Lots of great comedy going on right now. I've got a decent March schedule lined-up so far.
This year, I said I'd go to more comedy shows.
I have been really good at doing that.
Unfortunately, comedy somehow leads to social drinking. And social drinking leads to me taking cabs...
and that leads to me eating out of the vending machine at work and constantly complaining about how broke I am.
I don't know if my friends are sick of me saying it, but I sure am.
The fundwatch '08 is just beginning. I've still got the dreaded "t word" to deal with (t is for taxes and it's mighty frightening for me, cause I always owe money).
The brokeness doesn't just effect eating habits though. I'm also unable to spend Easter with the family in Florida this year. This won't be that big of deal, though. My family rarely gathers for Easter.
The first year I lived on my own in fact I started my lone Easter tradition - ordering in lamb, getting a good bottle of wine, and watching TV until I fall asleep.
Sure, it might sound pathetic and borderline alcoholic to you - but to me it's a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday.
My brother Mike's family orders in Chinese and watches movies. This may sound low key, but I believe my sister in law Tina may enjoy this more than Christmas.
The dedication to low key is something so rare for holidays.
Usually holidays mean: high stress family visits, the need for perfection, and extreme over eating
So, even though I'll miss out on this years Florida-Easter-Fest with my brother Matt, my Uncle Bill and my Mom at the house her and my step dad are renting for their "Snow Bird" month, at least I'll get a day of relaxation.
Even if I am broke, I intend on continuing my tradition.
And if I find myself worrying about the cash flow- well, there's always 3 buck chuck.
In other family news - Go check out my sister's book on Amazon.com. This book is going to be hilarious. I know this, because her columns are so freakin' funny.
And I'd say that even if she wasn't my sister.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Charlottesville Shuttle
This blog could also be titled:
Ok, Jen You Were Right
or
Get Your Tickets Now for the NYC Shuttle
I left work on Friday not looking forward to traveling to my sister's.
Don't get me wrong here. I absolutely love going to my sister's. She lives in central Virginia in a place where there's local stores, a lake, vineyards, rolling hills, fresh air, stars in the night sky (pretty much the only lights), and friendly neighbors. It's a wonderful break from NYC.
But Jen's house is approximately 9 hours away. I usually take Amtrak and it's hellish. Penn station is miserable enough because of the trip to dreaded midtown.
So, when I walked out of the office all I trudged the two blocks and one avenue over to the quiet meat packing district. It was cold and windy and I dreaded waiting for this stupid bus to come.
And then, it happened.
The bus was there. The driver was friendly and so was everyone on the bus. As we pulled away everyone introduced themselves. People were warm and genuinely nice. I ended up sitting next to a lovely woman who knew one of my co-workers. We spoke for four hours straight.
There was free sandwiches, coffee, tea and homemade cookies, internet access, and plenty of leg room.
The ride was smooth and fast. I got to Charlottesville at 12:30 am - after only 7 hours on the bus.
Now, that might seem like a crazy, "only seven hours". I've taken the train and it's taken 10 hours, I was sitting by the door freezing, and had to wait an hour in Penn for the train to arrive.
I am converted.
I love this bus and intend to use it again and again. It's affordable, friendly, and it takes me to one of my favorite get aways ever- Charlottesville.
I'm glad I live in NYC, but it can get annoying here sometimes. Now, I know I can get away to hang out with my sister and her awesome family in affordable, comfortable manner.
Thank you NYC Shuttle and Jen for talking me into taking the bus.
Her exact sell was, "Sue, I know you'll love it. I can see you blogging about it now."
What can I say?
The woman knows me.
Ok, Jen You Were Right
or
Get Your Tickets Now for the NYC Shuttle
I left work on Friday not looking forward to traveling to my sister's.
Don't get me wrong here. I absolutely love going to my sister's. She lives in central Virginia in a place where there's local stores, a lake, vineyards, rolling hills, fresh air, stars in the night sky (pretty much the only lights), and friendly neighbors. It's a wonderful break from NYC.
But Jen's house is approximately 9 hours away. I usually take Amtrak and it's hellish. Penn station is miserable enough because of the trip to dreaded midtown.
So, when I walked out of the office all I trudged the two blocks and one avenue over to the quiet meat packing district. It was cold and windy and I dreaded waiting for this stupid bus to come.
And then, it happened.
The bus was there. The driver was friendly and so was everyone on the bus. As we pulled away everyone introduced themselves. People were warm and genuinely nice. I ended up sitting next to a lovely woman who knew one of my co-workers. We spoke for four hours straight.
There was free sandwiches, coffee, tea and homemade cookies, internet access, and plenty of leg room.
The ride was smooth and fast. I got to Charlottesville at 12:30 am - after only 7 hours on the bus.
Now, that might seem like a crazy, "only seven hours". I've taken the train and it's taken 10 hours, I was sitting by the door freezing, and had to wait an hour in Penn for the train to arrive.
I am converted.
I love this bus and intend to use it again and again. It's affordable, friendly, and it takes me to one of my favorite get aways ever- Charlottesville.
I'm glad I live in NYC, but it can get annoying here sometimes. Now, I know I can get away to hang out with my sister and her awesome family in affordable, comfortable manner.
Thank you NYC Shuttle and Jen for talking me into taking the bus.
Her exact sell was, "Sue, I know you'll love it. I can see you blogging about it now."
What can I say?
The woman knows me.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
War on Christmas?
In WW1 there was a truce.
We've regressed.
Bill O'Reilly will tell you there is still a war on Christmas. But he is referring to the fact that because Christmas is a Christian holiday some people find it easier to say happy holidays in lieu of Merry Christmas so they don't offend people of different religious beliefs. And of course this means war! -- to someone like Bill O'Reilly.
Sadly though, there is a real war on Christmas.
When you read stuff like "Suicide Bomber Kills # at Funeral" it makes you realize that the war on words is probably just about the stupidest piece of news around.
This Christmas, I'm in Virginia with my sister and her husband and kids. My mom got them all the toys with the noise.
As I type this, I hear the sounds of the princess bike my niece is sitting upon and my nephew making farting noises with his mouth as his pushes her around.
To me, that's Christmas- but that's just cause I was raised a good consumer Christian.
If you would like to send presents to the troops in Iraq you can here:
Treats for Troops
It's ok that it won't make it in time for Christmas. You can make any day Christmas for them, or a holiday - whatever you prefer.
Have a good day people, heck make it a merry one.
We've regressed.
Bill O'Reilly will tell you there is still a war on Christmas. But he is referring to the fact that because Christmas is a Christian holiday some people find it easier to say happy holidays in lieu of Merry Christmas so they don't offend people of different religious beliefs. And of course this means war! -- to someone like Bill O'Reilly.
Sadly though, there is a real war on Christmas.
When you read stuff like "Suicide Bomber Kills # at Funeral" it makes you realize that the war on words is probably just about the stupidest piece of news around.
This Christmas, I'm in Virginia with my sister and her husband and kids. My mom got them all the toys with the noise.
As I type this, I hear the sounds of the princess bike my niece is sitting upon and my nephew making farting noises with his mouth as his pushes her around.
To me, that's Christmas- but that's just cause I was raised a good consumer Christian.
If you would like to send presents to the troops in Iraq you can here:
Treats for Troops
It's ok that it won't make it in time for Christmas. You can make any day Christmas for them, or a holiday - whatever you prefer.
Have a good day people, heck make it a merry one.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tacky Christmas Sweater Party
Pink wanted a Christmas party, and roommate Tom and I are always down for parties so we all agreed we'd have one, but it couldn't be too serious.
So, we opted for the Tacky Christmas Sweater party theme.
Pink and I dressed in matching ridiculous outfits: holiday boxers, sweaters with bedazzled trees and pom-pom zippers, and pig tails with bells on them.
We were the most tacky of the evening.
A close second were the brunettes who rolled in looking like extra's from an 80's Christmas party. They took tacky sweaters they found and made them slutty using simple sewing techniques.
For those that weren't tacky enough, our friend Kate brought decorations that stuck to the sweaters. This included letters - that lead to some very funny impromptu logo tees.
The party consisted mostly of pals from the liar and some of my close work friends. These proved to not only be the strong (there was a disgusting winter storm that night) but also the die-hard partiers - We had less people at this party than all of our parties, but the same amount of empties to clean up...
I guess that's how the dance party broke out upstairs. It was either that or Gina playing Poison. All I know is, I ended up dancing to Madonna's Vogue. I did a routine I made up to the song and have been practicing in my room since I was about 14.
People really seemed to enjoy it, or at least they said they did between laughing and dropped jaws.
Thanks for reading my recap of my Tacky Sweater party.
Now, here's Roommate Tom with some Holiday Cheer:
So, we opted for the Tacky Christmas Sweater party theme.
Pink and I dressed in matching ridiculous outfits: holiday boxers, sweaters with bedazzled trees and pom-pom zippers, and pig tails with bells on them.
We were the most tacky of the evening.
A close second were the brunettes who rolled in looking like extra's from an 80's Christmas party. They took tacky sweaters they found and made them slutty using simple sewing techniques.
For those that weren't tacky enough, our friend Kate brought decorations that stuck to the sweaters. This included letters - that lead to some very funny impromptu logo tees.
The party consisted mostly of pals from the liar and some of my close work friends. These proved to not only be the strong (there was a disgusting winter storm that night) but also the die-hard partiers - We had less people at this party than all of our parties, but the same amount of empties to clean up...
I guess that's how the dance party broke out upstairs. It was either that or Gina playing Poison. All I know is, I ended up dancing to Madonna's Vogue. I did a routine I made up to the song and have been practicing in my room since I was about 14.
People really seemed to enjoy it, or at least they said they did between laughing and dropped jaws.
Thanks for reading my recap of my Tacky Sweater party.
Now, here's Roommate Tom with some Holiday Cheer:
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thanksgiving Week
Oy, so full.
Here are some of my favorite lines from the family:
"Sam, you're my friend."
"I'm your cousin, too, Chris - don't forget."
-My nephews
"Hey Mom, (pause) Um, hey you!"
"Do you know my name?"
"Hey Aunt You!"
-My nephew Chris to me
"Offensive- Bullwinkle's junk"
-Family game of Apples to Apples
Other great moments:
- Looking at this with my niece.
- Kicking my brother's ass in the drinking version of Scene It TV Edition.
Best quote of the week from friends:
"Happy day-we-showed-the-indians-who's-boss!"
-Becky Donohue via text
"Hey Sue, where are you right now?"
"Just got home."
"I'm at the Liar right now."
"Oh, no, I'm at the Queens home."
Here are some of my favorite lines from the family:
"Sam, you're my friend."
"I'm your cousin, too, Chris - don't forget."
-My nephews
"Hey Mom, (pause) Um, hey you!"
"Do you know my name?"
"Hey Aunt You!"
-My nephew Chris to me
"Offensive- Bullwinkle's junk"
-Family game of Apples to Apples
Other great moments:
- Looking at this with my niece.
- Kicking my brother's ass in the drinking version of Scene It TV Edition.
Best quote of the week from friends:
"Happy day-we-showed-the-indians-who's-boss!"
-Becky Donohue via text
"Hey Sue, where are you right now?"
"Just got home."
"I'm at the Liar right now."
"Oh, no, I'm at the Queens home."
Sunday, November 18, 2007
"Miss Funke, We Done Did Good"
Well, we pulled it off. Three roommates with one dream: a Thanksgiving meal with our friends.
I dunno if you had a slow enough Sunday to follow our high jinx, so I'll recap (click links for full blog):
My freelance check came in, and my roommates and I decided to actually go through with our Thanksgiving dinner. (Originally, I held back because I didn't think I could chip in, and we weren't sure if we'd have the time either.)
This meant that I had to cook my first turkey.
Which was intimidating, and sleep depriving.
I learned the biggest concern when cooking a turkey is that it might be dry.
And after all that, no one was showing up.
Well, Fred the turkey took almost 10 hours to cook, and gravy is a lot harder to make than I remembered - here are some tips on making turkey gravy:
The table was upstairs, the boys had put up the mini tree, hung the big bow on the door, and strung the lights. Emily and I brought up the meal- it was a ridiculously large, but absolutely delicious.
Between courses we went across to the park and went on the slides. We learned this helps you make room for pie. On our way back we rung our neighbor's doorbell and they joined us for desserts and another round of the main meal.
Then we all just sat around contently talking about which foods we enjoyed the most, and the ones we didn't get to, but wished we had room for.
Everyone went home with left overs and the accord that we may have outdone real Thanksgiving.
All Emily, Tom, and I know is, we really pulled it off! We put a Thanksgiving meal together, and it was worth every penny.
I dunno if you had a slow enough Sunday to follow our high jinx, so I'll recap (click links for full blog):
My freelance check came in, and my roommates and I decided to actually go through with our Thanksgiving dinner. (Originally, I held back because I didn't think I could chip in, and we weren't sure if we'd have the time either.)
This meant that I had to cook my first turkey.
Which was intimidating, and sleep depriving.
I learned the biggest concern when cooking a turkey is that it might be dry.
And after all that, no one was showing up.
Well, Fred the turkey took almost 10 hours to cook, and gravy is a lot harder to make than I remembered - here are some tips on making turkey gravy:
- DON'T ADD A TON OF CORN STARCH! Man, that gravy tasted nasty...with like a chalky after-taste to boot.
- DON'T TRY TO SAVE IT WITH A TON OF TURKEY DRIPPINGS...it becomes gelatinous and no matter how much stock you put in, it still kinda looks like chunky snot. (It was eventually delicious, but briefly, as soon as it cooled it was grossest fat chunk gel ever.)
The table was upstairs, the boys had put up the mini tree, hung the big bow on the door, and strung the lights. Emily and I brought up the meal- it was a ridiculously large, but absolutely delicious.
Between courses we went across to the park and went on the slides. We learned this helps you make room for pie. On our way back we rung our neighbor's doorbell and they joined us for desserts and another round of the main meal.
Then we all just sat around contently talking about which foods we enjoyed the most, and the ones we didn't get to, but wished we had room for.
Everyone went home with left overs and the accord that we may have outdone real Thanksgiving.
All Emily, Tom, and I know is, we really pulled it off! We put a Thanksgiving meal together, and it was worth every penny.
The Most Expensive Meal for Three
Well, the guests were supposed to show about oh...an hour ago.
Fred is still not done, but we could feed an army.
Our pals who were stoked to come over seem to have forgotten their excitement and won't answer our calls/ messages. You would think free food would lure 20 and 30 somethings. Especially a giant home cooked meal. Emily even made the pies from scratch!
But alas, no.
We are now drinking some left over beer and wondering if it's possible to eat 6lbs of turkey each, and all the sides, and not explode.
The concept of having a pie each to ourselves is alluring though.
We are in need of a Thanksgiving miracle.
Come on Fred, make it work!!!
Fred is still not done, but we could feed an army.
Our pals who were stoked to come over seem to have forgotten their excitement and won't answer our calls/ messages. You would think free food would lure 20 and 30 somethings. Especially a giant home cooked meal. Emily even made the pies from scratch!
But alas, no.
We are now drinking some left over beer and wondering if it's possible to eat 6lbs of turkey each, and all the sides, and not explode.
The concept of having a pie each to ourselves is alluring though.
We are in need of a Thanksgiving miracle.
Come on Fred, make it work!!!
Don't You Dry on Me!
Well, we're at the six hour mark. Fred the turkey is looking pretty good. He's snug in his tinfoil comforter that I keep stripping away every 45 minutes to pour more drippings upon him.
I've lowered the temperature from 325 to 300 in hopes of avoiding any chances of drying him out. It's something Emily and I both fear so much that we added an extra layer of foil on him for good luck.
We're about an hour away from prepping all the side dishes. This should be interesting. We're under the belief that since this is all for fun it won't be stressful- but somehow the three of us know that when we're at zero hour things are gonna be hectic around here. I've gotta go prep myself for the madness, but I'll leave the menu down below for your enjoyment:
I've lowered the temperature from 325 to 300 in hopes of avoiding any chances of drying him out. It's something Emily and I both fear so much that we added an extra layer of foil on him for good luck.
We're about an hour away from prepping all the side dishes. This should be interesting. We're under the belief that since this is all for fun it won't be stressful- but somehow the three of us know that when we're at zero hour things are gonna be hectic around here. I've gotta go prep myself for the madness, but I'll leave the menu down below for your enjoyment:
The Astoria House Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner Menu
- Pigs in a blanket
- Pepperoni and crackers
- A 20lb turkey named Fred
- Sweet Potatoes with Marshmellows
- Crazy/Crunchy String bean casserole
- Mashed Potatoes
- Stuffing
- Corn
- Can o' cranberry
- Corn bread
- Apple Sauce
- Pumpkin Pie
- Apple Pie
- Apple Crisp
All this food, and it looks like we're only going to be about 6-8 people right now...
You are probably wondering if we're absolutely nuts right now. The answer is yes, but we're happily insane.
You are probably wondering if we're absolutely nuts right now. The answer is yes, but we're happily insane.
Flipping the Bird!
When I was watching the instructional video on how to cook a turkey I laughed like a 13 year old when they said quite seriously, "Now you must carefully flip the bird".
Because I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy.
Other things I will laugh at:
Guys named Dick
Anyone saying "That's what she said."
Fart jokes
Poop jokes...you get the point.
Here's the thing though, I am such an adult that I flipped my own bird!
It was pretty thrilling for a Sunday at 10am.
Reasons why this is so exciting:
-The turkey is 20lbs. and I didn't drop it taking it in or out of the oven in the tin foil roaster we bought at Stop n Shop.
-Fred and I are old pals, and I treated him with the dignity he deserved.
-I topped him with butter and bacon, ensuring everyone will be heart attack ready after the meal.
He's looking decently succulent now. My hope is that he stays that way and I don't space out while working and forget to keep douse him in his own juices.
Cooking a turkey isn't pretty folks, but it's a task I've chosen to take on because....well I'm not really sure why we're doing this besides the enjoyment of food and inviting friends over for impromptu parties. That's enough though, right?
Because I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy.
Other things I will laugh at:
Guys named Dick
Anyone saying "That's what she said."
Fart jokes
Poop jokes...you get the point.
Here's the thing though, I am such an adult that I flipped my own bird!
It was pretty thrilling for a Sunday at 10am.
Reasons why this is so exciting:
-The turkey is 20lbs. and I didn't drop it taking it in or out of the oven in the tin foil roaster we bought at Stop n Shop.
-Fred and I are old pals, and I treated him with the dignity he deserved.
-I topped him with butter and bacon, ensuring everyone will be heart attack ready after the meal.
He's looking decently succulent now. My hope is that he stays that way and I don't space out while working and forget to keep douse him in his own juices.
Cooking a turkey isn't pretty folks, but it's a task I've chosen to take on because....well I'm not really sure why we're doing this besides the enjoyment of food and inviting friends over for impromptu parties. That's enough though, right?
My First Thanksgiving Turkey
His name is Fred.
Roommate Tom, and new-roommate-Emily, and I named him in the Stop-n-Shop where we found him. We had originally picked out a frozen turkey, named Bill, but after a call to Tom's mom we learned that it's pretty much impossible to defrost a turkey within a 12 hour period. So, Fred was an expensive thawed out bird with lots of watery blood in his packaging.
As the youngest of four children, I've seen a lot of Thanksgiving cooking being done, but I am usually on the sidelines. It was usually my job to do simple things: arrange platters, make appetizers, cut veggies, peel potatoes.
Now, I am cooking my own turkey. I watched a 15 minute video, Emily got some advice from her Aunt Susie, we've got the directions off the package, and I've got 25 years of observation logged. So, at 6 am this morning I started cooking Fred.
I dunno if it's because I've named it, or the fact that I had my hands up it's carcass, but I feel a strange connection to Fred. It's like we're in this together, and you better be freakin' delicious Fred.
I'm off to go peel sweet potatoes, but I'll keep you posted on how this all goes. Especially when I flip the bird. That's gonna be interesting.
Don't fail me now Fred!
Roommate Tom, and new-roommate-Emily, and I named him in the Stop-n-Shop where we found him. We had originally picked out a frozen turkey, named Bill, but after a call to Tom's mom we learned that it's pretty much impossible to defrost a turkey within a 12 hour period. So, Fred was an expensive thawed out bird with lots of watery blood in his packaging.
As the youngest of four children, I've seen a lot of Thanksgiving cooking being done, but I am usually on the sidelines. It was usually my job to do simple things: arrange platters, make appetizers, cut veggies, peel potatoes.
Now, I am cooking my own turkey. I watched a 15 minute video, Emily got some advice from her Aunt Susie, we've got the directions off the package, and I've got 25 years of observation logged. So, at 6 am this morning I started cooking Fred.
I dunno if it's because I've named it, or the fact that I had my hands up it's carcass, but I feel a strange connection to Fred. It's like we're in this together, and you better be freakin' delicious Fred.
I'm off to go peel sweet potatoes, but I'll keep you posted on how this all goes. Especially when I flip the bird. That's gonna be interesting.
Don't fail me now Fred!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
December
It's very final
And everyone is nuts
We're all racing to the store
rushing the holiday spirit
tired of frosty
There's something a little off
because it's been a long year
and you're realizing
that it's almost over...
But there's so much left to do before New Year's-
Don't make me even think About
NEW YEARS!
I have to get through this week!!
This celebratory week
it makes me weak
It's kinda funny
that there's a big fuss about a December birthday
A new at the end
Did you know that in the beginning of December it's still fall?
Did you know that in December the winter solstice occurs?
It's a subtle difference in the setting of the sun
but maybe it's so quick
that we rush
and the holidays are upon us again!
and there's too much to do,
we've got to get it all in!
It doesn't matter
take your time
you've got 12 more months
'till you meet again.
And everyone is nuts
We're all racing to the store
rushing the holiday spirit
tired of frosty
There's something a little off
because it's been a long year
and you're realizing
that it's almost over...
But there's so much left to do before New Year's-
Don't make me even think About
NEW YEARS!
I have to get through this week!!
This celebratory week
it makes me weak
It's kinda funny
that there's a big fuss about a December birthday
A new at the end
Did you know that in the beginning of December it's still fall?
Did you know that in December the winter solstice occurs?
It's a subtle difference in the setting of the sun
but maybe it's so quick
that we rush
and the holidays are upon us again!
and there's too much to do,
we've got to get it all in!
It doesn't matter
take your time
you've got 12 more months
'till you meet again.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sick, Holidays, TV
I have not blogged in a while, my apologies.
Here are my reasons:
I'm sick - sinus infection, it's not pretty, ask me why.
I was home for the holidays - not the one I grew up in, the one my brother and his wife have made in Pennsylvania. It was awesome. Everything I could've asked for from a holiday*.
I love TV more than you - seriously, I've watched so much TV and I love it. There are some awesome shows on, and some awesomely bad on.
Awesome shows(in no particular order):
Project Runway (now I have a very strong opinion on fashion, I had no clue without Heidi Klum)
Six Feet Under (Season one is on Bravo, it's horribley dubbed for cursing and sex, but it makes me giggle when they replace curse words in really lame ways)
Heros (I know what it means when they say "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World - you should too)
Studio 60 (I love Aaron Sorkin's TV writing)
Scrubs (hilarious)
Awesomely bad:
Dukes of Hazzard
A-Team
America's Next Top Model
Top Chef
No explanations for the bad stuff, I would blame the cold,
but I can't really.
I can blame it for that Three's Company Dream I had this morning.
It's just delusional of me to dream I'm Cindy, when I'm totally more Joyce DeWittish.
*What made a great holiday:
My nieces and nephews- my siblings have great offspring, they're a lot of fun.
My siblings - Jen and Mike were present this year, they're hilarious but Matt was missed
The in-laws - when you're not married but you have in-laws via your siblings marriage, these people are really cool and fun honorary family members.
Food - My sister-in-law cooked a meal that was the most amazing home cooked thing ever. I found a new love for home cookin'. I want to buy her more cook books and move in because she not only enjoys cooking but she'll also serve me and make fun of my brother while doing so. Wonderful.
Cigar, scotch, front pourch, dog - This has become an upmost staple of my holiday/vacation time. I got to enjoy a nice portifino with my brother and my brother in law.
My mother having a memeroable moment that leads to my miserable neurosis - "I'm only getting Susan a birthday gift this year because she's still single."
Ahh can't wait for Christmas!!
Here are my reasons:
I'm sick - sinus infection, it's not pretty, ask me why.
I was home for the holidays - not the one I grew up in, the one my brother and his wife have made in Pennsylvania. It was awesome. Everything I could've asked for from a holiday*.
I love TV more than you - seriously, I've watched so much TV and I love it. There are some awesome shows on, and some awesomely bad on.
Awesome shows(in no particular order):
Project Runway (now I have a very strong opinion on fashion, I had no clue without Heidi Klum)
Six Feet Under (Season one is on Bravo, it's horribley dubbed for cursing and sex, but it makes me giggle when they replace curse words in really lame ways)
Heros (I know what it means when they say "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World - you should too)
Studio 60 (I love Aaron Sorkin's TV writing)
Scrubs (hilarious)
Awesomely bad:
Dukes of Hazzard
A-Team
America's Next Top Model
Top Chef
No explanations for the bad stuff, I would blame the cold,
but I can't really.
I can blame it for that Three's Company Dream I had this morning.
It's just delusional of me to dream I'm Cindy, when I'm totally more Joyce DeWittish.
*What made a great holiday:
My nieces and nephews- my siblings have great offspring, they're a lot of fun.
My siblings - Jen and Mike were present this year, they're hilarious but Matt was missed
The in-laws - when you're not married but you have in-laws via your siblings marriage, these people are really cool and fun honorary family members.
Food - My sister-in-law cooked a meal that was the most amazing home cooked thing ever. I found a new love for home cookin'. I want to buy her more cook books and move in because she not only enjoys cooking but she'll also serve me and make fun of my brother while doing so. Wonderful.
Cigar, scotch, front pourch, dog - This has become an upmost staple of my holiday/vacation time. I got to enjoy a nice portifino with my brother and my brother in law.
My mother having a memeroable moment that leads to my miserable neurosis - "I'm only getting Susan a birthday gift this year because she's still single."
Ahh can't wait for Christmas!!
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