I'm Just Takin' a Train Out, On the Mineola Line...

The LIRR and I have a love hate relationship.

It's over priced, gets paralyzed in the rain, and can smell like piss and sound like hell.

But on weekends it can take me back to the place that I know all to well:
The Island.

I drove that Island end to end,
top to bottom,
trying to get lost as a teenager.
Now when I go back
I am driven around by the people who rode with me.

I went out this weekend for my friend Brooke's engagement party
- and I came out a day early for the beach.
My co-worker/friend* Lauren was kind enough to let me and a couple of other co-workers
crash her Long Beach residence, eat her food, and visit the beach which was a block away.

Sure, the LIRR to Long Beach was a crowded, too-close-for-comfort
ride along side my Long Island brethren-
with teenage girls that were so misguided
and under-parented
that I wanted to adopt them and start my own Facts-of-Life type household to teach these girls manners and de-slutify them.

(NOTE: when you wear shorts, button the top button, let your belly button ring be a surprise and hide that tramp stamp. Your floss bikini top already screams loud enough for attention.)

But on the train back...
after the beach
the party at the beach house
the time spent with my "brother" Will
and his awesome girl friend Sam
and a beautiful engagement party
I sat on the LIRR and watched my hometown pass by me.

Out the dirty windows I saw the trees, the baseball fields, the pools, sumps, 7 elevens,
the fire house my Grandfather worked at,
and felt really lucky that this was a place I could go back to and visit.

I leaned my head against the seat and watched it all go by
and thought
I love the LIRR
because no matter how crappy it might be sometimes
it still brings me back to the people and places I love.

*I am fortunate to work in an office with a group of people I can truly call friends.

Notable Quotes and Stats

It's been a while since a blog.
I've been really busy.
I owe more, but for now, here's a list of great quotes of recent:


"Our marriage works because we've always hated eachother!"
-great quote from the HBO show Lucky Louie - can't life be more like TV?

"Look at you doin' your fancy pants dance."
-at a diner in Astoria

"I'm so glad I got my period, I was so not ready to have Bobby's abortion."
-said that and it stopped a LIRR train.

"Capital punishment should be abolished, we should just give the bad people pink socks."
-my former roommate, Debbie


"Hold on, I need to sit in my dripping shame a little longer"
-sitting with beer in my hair in a space between my chair and the booth that apparently didn't wrap around.

"I'm glad you realize God's plan is for us to marry and procreate."
-response from my step father after a discussion about how, yes, eventually I would like to get married and that I do like/want children- eventually, possibly, maybe...

ok really just to be able to justify eating an entire plate of nachos by myself for the "bun in the oven"

....mmm the smell of buns in the oven.

"Oh my God, we've broken Sue, she's under the desk."
-someone asked me why I didn't just take the time to open the mail (I had two days of work, for the many different roles I play at work, piled up because my Great Aunt died) so yes, I did hide under the desk.
It's really super professional to do. I highly recommend trying it,
it's safe under there.

I'm not really broken, I'm actually quite content.

Another Saturday Night

and I got two buddies at the Liar, so I hop the train for a drink.
A drink, maybe two, or three...
That was at 6pm.
Due to intoxication and the horrible MTA, I ended up not getting home until 2:30 in the morning.
Here is a recap of the night, as I remember it:
7 PM - I walk up to the bar to see Adam smoking a cigar and Tom smoking a cigarette, both look at me like I'm insane. Aparently putting on a long skirt, no matter how dirty it is, is "putting in a lot of effort" on my appearance, I try to explain I'm the same dirty hippie I always am.
Adam tells me he has a bit for me, but I need to catch up on my drinking before I hear it.
7:15 - I start out with a Guiness, I'm not staying out too late or drinking too much tonight, might as well savor the flavor.
8 - I'm drinking Yeingling and discussing new inventions in bandaids.
9 - I'm drinking Bud and finally ready for Adam's comedy bit (I'll tell you it when you're older)
10 - I switch to Bud Lite, I'll watch my weight and my purse. I'm talking to a girl my friend is hitting on, turns out she's more into me. I say no thanks, I get blamed for chasing girls away.
11-Tom declares it's a crazy night, we're all going for the long haul, maybe bar hopping?
11:30 - Adam drops out.
12- Renee is coming out, we're staying at the Liar tonight.
1 am - I'm on an E train to Queens, but I fall asleep. I'm woken up by a nice elderly Indian man who asks me if I really want to be at Union Turnpike, I say no but miss the door, as does he, it's his stop. We go to the next stop and get out together for a transfer. His name is Richie. He's in love with me and wants to take me dancing sometime. I give him a fake number and send him on his way.
1:30 - At roosevelt ave a kid gets on, he's got stars in his eyes, literally, star contacts. They match his shirt. He asks me if the train is express, I say I hope not, he hopes it is.
Kid with stars in his eyes wins, and I end up at Queens Plaza.
2 - No trains coming at Queens Plaza, I join an "I hate the MTA discussion" with two other female Queens residents. A subway pulls up, it's an F train. The F isn't supposed to be at Queens Plaza! I tell the conductor this, then ask him where my train is, he said they stopped running trains local, they made an announcement about it two hours ago.
Super!
2:30 - my fellow females from the hood turned out to be trying to get to the same stop I am going to. Safety-in-numbers-Sue asks if they want to split a cab, we go to the street level and split a cab.

Morals of the story -

• This whole "I'm going to save money and stop taking cabs" idea is going to be revoked.
• People in New York are nice, helpful, caring people - not all of them, but I've met more nice than nasty. I think all the nasty ones live on Long Island*

Well, now I'm off to a Sopranos party, expect reactionary blog on that later...


*I am from Long Island so I can mock it as much as I'd like.