My Online Dating Venture

How does one get over a bad seed?
Plant a new one.

For over a year now I've been off and on
with a bad seed.

My friends say he's no good,
but I listen to too much Aretha Franklin
which somehow makes it more appealing.

Last week I arrived at the understanding that I do need a new guy.

So where do you go in NYC, a city of millions, to find someone new?
The Internet.

This is not some hot club, but ye old Internet sites.
There are tons out there, but I ended up trying out:
Match.com, Nerve.com

Match.com "It's okay (and Free) to Look!"
ads are everywhere.
But ya know how much they charge per month?
like 40 bucks!
Am I 40 bucks desperate to date?
Oh, wait, I have 40 bucks to my name this week.
That's a NO.

I fill out my profile, quickly:

"I want a guy who will understand my crazy schedule
and hanging out at random times
to chill out with a beer, watch tv and eat nachos."

And I put up three photos-
Me on St. Patty's day in Chicago with a Sam Adams
Me in Atlantic City taking a shot
Me in my rainbowbrite shirt drinking a Grolsch

...there's a theme there...

I get matches back in two days from match.com
9 giant thugs with glowing crosses on big chains
and 1 normal looking dude (who never wrote back).

I get four emails from guys on Match.com
they are all much older, from Jersey or Long Island
and love my smile.

$40? No thanks.

Well, there's still Nerve.com
and I filled out a profile there too, quickly

I get back my compatible suitors from Nerve -
they're all chicks.

I double checked that I'm there for men.
Yep.
Apparently, the Nerve thinks I'm a lesbian.

Online dating was quite possibly one of the most depressing things I've ever done.
All profiles have been taken down.

I guess I just wasn't made for these times.