Online Dating and TV Pursuits

As I've mentioned on here before, I've got a plethora of twitter accounts.

Recently, I added to that list a new account. I based it on my less than stellar experiences on Match.com. I titled it MatchDotFail. I hoped it would take off and CBS would offer me a sitcom. Something like $%*t My Dad Says except funny.

"But Sue," you say, "You are one of the biggest opponents of Match.com. What were you thinking?"

Yes, blog reader, you are correct. In fact, one of my most popular online videos is about how poorly previous attempts have gone at online dating:



But, in hopes of trying to find a soul mate, or at least a good tale to tell, I joined Match.com. I'm now on my 6 months free period. It's been quite the wild ride, but surprisingly I am getting some sort of opportunity from it. I was asked to be in a commercial of a first date.

Basically, they would film me meeting a man in New York for dinner for our very first date. It's either the best opportunity I have for a credit, or an awful prank. So, should I reply to the request? It might gain traction on that Twitter TV show....

Oh Online Dating, You Constant Source of Humor

I considered checking out that "Free Week of Communication" on Match.com. Then I saw this:



http://twitpic.com/wpz5f

To me it looks like this woman laid down in front of a mower to die.
Is that what online dating is?

Tell Me How You Really Feel...

Me: I might have a date in three weeks.

Mara: Ugh, I'm sorry.

Me: What? Come on, I never date.

Mara: But you know how it goes: awkward conversation, not being yourself. You might as well say, "I'm going to have a nightmare in three weeks."

My Online Dating Venture

How does one get over a bad seed?
Plant a new one.

For over a year now I've been off and on
with a bad seed.

My friends say he's no good,
but I listen to too much Aretha Franklin
which somehow makes it more appealing.

Last week I arrived at the understanding that I do need a new guy.

So where do you go in NYC, a city of millions, to find someone new?
The Internet.

This is not some hot club, but ye old Internet sites.
There are tons out there, but I ended up trying out:
Match.com, Nerve.com

Match.com "It's okay (and Free) to Look!"
ads are everywhere.
But ya know how much they charge per month?
like 40 bucks!
Am I 40 bucks desperate to date?
Oh, wait, I have 40 bucks to my name this week.
That's a NO.

I fill out my profile, quickly:

"I want a guy who will understand my crazy schedule
and hanging out at random times
to chill out with a beer, watch tv and eat nachos."

And I put up three photos-
Me on St. Patty's day in Chicago with a Sam Adams
Me in Atlantic City taking a shot
Me in my rainbowbrite shirt drinking a Grolsch

...there's a theme there...

I get matches back in two days from match.com
9 giant thugs with glowing crosses on big chains
and 1 normal looking dude (who never wrote back).

I get four emails from guys on Match.com
they are all much older, from Jersey or Long Island
and love my smile.

$40? No thanks.

Well, there's still Nerve.com
and I filled out a profile there too, quickly

I get back my compatible suitors from Nerve -
they're all chicks.

I double checked that I'm there for men.
Yep.
Apparently, the Nerve thinks I'm a lesbian.

Online dating was quite possibly one of the most depressing things I've ever done.
All profiles have been taken down.

I guess I just wasn't made for these times.