Still Cigarette Free

I'm free and clear of the physical addiction according to the bullshit stuff they put out so you will stop smoking.
The love though, that's still there. The love of smoking cigarettes is pretty much what Whitney was speaking of.
But I've held strong. People keep congratulating me on it, but some people don't realize that I had fallen off the wagon.
Like the CEO of the company I work for when we bumped into each other waiting for the elevator.
"Hey Sue, going up or down?"

"Down to watch Matt and K have a cigarette. You know how I enjoy watching people smoke*."

"Still not smoking?"

"Well...I actually fell off the wagon and ended up smoking two packs a day, blew out my sinuses, and now I'm back on the wagon because smoking again would pretty much kill me."

Awkward pause.

"Well, I'm glad you stopped....How do you smoke two packs a day?"
"Oh, you pretty much do nothing but smoke."

Awkward pause.

"That's not really something you want to tell me."

"Did I say all I did was smoke? I meant I worked and smoked. Yep, lots of working and smoking."

The elevator came and he awkwardly went upstairs as I repeated a fun little mantra of mine, "Why do I speak!?!"


*I actually do really enjoy watching other people smoke. Second hand is just like the real thing baby. I also enjoy watching people eat foods I can no longer eat and have them describe to me their experiences. A little creepy, I know. This is why I've started watching the Food Network. Ooooh man does that food look hot!