Funny Times

I got a lot of comedy work in the hopper lately. It's a Funke family trait to bite off more than you can chew, so I'm glad to be so busy.

I'm also proud to say that while I'm not on the 8-10 shows a week I once was, the caliber of shows I'm on is better than ever. Even though I'm not out every night, I feel as though comedy is pretty consuming.

When you're a comedian and you haven't made it (example: me) your life is pretty much divided into odd parts:

1. Hype: You've got to self promote. This means asking everyone you know on a regular bases to come to a show via all social medias and face-to-face contact.

2. Writing/Performing: You have to back up what you're telling everyone is worth leaving the house to see.

3. Financial Backing: You need to eat, and pay rent. So taking a day job, or any job at this point is important. I'm glad to have a steady day job that involves writing, editing...and some dorky internet knowledge.

So, in the 8 hours when I'm not working, I'm working on comedy. And to further prove that, I will now shamelessly promote comedy shows....

I'm going to be on a burlesque show! http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com/2011/09/september-25th-see-me-in-burlesque.html

I'm producing (aka putting a ton of time and money to put on a show) one of the best shows ever. Ballsy statement, right? I don't think so. I'm so proud to work with co-producers Selena Coppock and Liz Simons to put on a show that not only has amazing comedians but it also encourages the audience to cheer for/represent their favorite borough.

That's right, It's

Brooklyn Vs. Queens: A Comedy Throwdown

..and I'm hosting!

http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com/2011/09/brooklyn-v-queens-comedy-brawl.html

I hope to see you at one of the shows, but you can't make it you can always share your love of comedy by checking out my youtube channel...

http://youtube.com/thesuefunke

Pay For Your Funny

I went to a comedy seminar last week at Gotham Comedy Club. I learned that the reason NY comedians aren't getting paid is because people are getting all their laughs for free.

Back in "the day", aka the90's, every brick wall had a mic in front of it. People loved comedy shows and the demand for live comedy was huge. Audiences would not only pay the cover, but a two drink minimum as well to see people they didn't even know tell them jokes.

Now, we've got comics beggin' on the streets, handing out flyers, and pulling in tourists for free. They do this so they can get stage time. So, in a way we'll do anything for stage time, even shoot ourselves in the foot. The free shows is setting people up to expect to not have to pay for comedy. And making it impossible to be a paid comedian.

Sure, this a theory given by a comedy club owner, but it's a pretty good one.

I guess I should make a sign and walk around "Will tell joke for food".
OR
Lure you into paying comedy shows like my one at COMIX FRIDAY OCTOBER 5th
(plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug....)

August 2006 Sue Funke Comedy Shows

Because if I don't write it here, I'll never remember.


Sunday, August 20, 2006
Laugh Strong at Faces and Names
5pm-9pm
$5 dollar donation for the LIVESTONG Cancer research foundation

Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Cheap Laughs for City Harvest
@7pm at the Laugh Lounge
$7 w/ donation of canned food, $10 with no donation

Monday, August 28, 2006
Comedy 101 w/ Erica Watson @ Luke & LeRoy
doors @7pm, show starts 8:30pm
$5 dollars to get in, great drink specials all night

Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Wicked Laughter w/Erica Watsom @ Madame X
doors @ 7pm show starts 8:30pm
$12 dollars to get in *FREE BACARDI DRINKS*


I'll be performing at all of these shows with some of NYC's best comics.

If you've never seen me do stand up, you might be wondering,

what's your schtick?

I talk about being Sue Funke, in my Sue Funke way.

Can you tell me just one joke?

Will you just come to a show and you can see it all there!

But what if I pay $12 bucks and you suck? I'll be embarassed, I'll be out $12 bucks and I'll have to avoid you for a while because it's so hard to tell a friend that they suck.

Well, since you put so much thought into your reasoning, I'll appease.

A(n old) joke, by Sue Funke

I used to eat a lot of Power Bars
I loved those chocolate peanut butter ones,
delicious, nutritious,
then I realized
they look more like the end product than food.

oh, man have I improved since that joke.

don't you want to see how it got better?

Go to a show, support some good causes and Live comedy!!!

**Note: There are some other great Open Mics I go to.**
New York Comics should check these out as well:

Maui Taco
Wednesday night NYC Open Mic
($5 bucks, but there's also awesome drink deals)
this 7:30pm mic is host by Hector Luis
located in midtown, a place I hate.

Comic Strip Live!
Gladys's Room
5:30 - 8pm Tuesday and Friday nights(11 dollars for comics).

New York Comedy Club
Bill Michael's Sunday open mics
7pm (Free) and 9pm(One Drink Minimum)

Alan Schwartz's Monday open mic
5pm sign up, $3 buck charge

Comedy, Family, Food = My Life Right Now

This blog could also be titled:
I'm Broke
Easter The Way Christ Intended - A Lazy Day of Reflection

Lots of great comedy going on right now. I've got a decent March schedule lined-up so far.
This year, I said I'd go to more comedy shows.
I have been really good at doing that.
Unfortunately, comedy somehow leads to social drinking. And social drinking leads to me taking cabs...
and that leads to me eating out of the vending machine at work and constantly complaining about how broke I am.
I don't know if my friends are sick of me saying it, but I sure am.

The fundwatch '08 is just beginning. I've still got the dreaded "t word" to deal with (t is for taxes and it's mighty frightening for me, cause I always owe money).

The brokeness doesn't just effect eating habits though. I'm also unable to spend Easter with the family in Florida this year. This won't be that big of deal, though. My family rarely gathers for Easter.

The first year I lived on my own in fact I started my lone Easter tradition - ordering in lamb, getting a good bottle of wine, and watching TV until I fall asleep.
Sure, it might sound pathetic and borderline alcoholic to you - but to me it's a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday.

My brother Mike's family orders in Chinese and watches movies. This may sound low key, but I believe my sister in law Tina may enjoy this more than Christmas.

The dedication to low key is something so rare for holidays.

Usually holidays mean: high stress family visits, the need for perfection, and extreme over eating

So, even though I'll miss out on this years Florida-Easter-Fest with my brother Matt, my Uncle Bill and my Mom at the house her and my step dad are renting for their "Snow Bird" month, at least I'll get a day of relaxation.
Even if I am broke, I intend on continuing my tradition.
And if I find myself worrying about the cash flow- well, there's always 3 buck chuck.


In other family news - Go check out my sister's book on Amazon.com. This book is going to be hilarious. I know this, because her columns are so freakin' funny.
And I'd say that even if she wasn't my sister.

Sue Funke - The Resume

COMEDIC EXPERIENCE

Stand-up Comedy 2003 - Present
New York, NY

Host

• The Greenwich Avenue Treehouse Bar Weekly Open Mic (2007-2010)
• Convergence and The Ultimate Experts Presents monthly shows at Ochi’s Lounge (2008-2010)
  

Clubs

• Comix, Caroline’s on Broadway, Comic Strip, Broadway Comedy Club, The Laugh Lounge, New York Comedy Club, Brokerage Comedy Club

Opened for

• Kevin Hart, Darrell Hammond

http://youtube.com/TheSueFunke for clips

Sketch Comedy 2006 - Present
New York, NY

Founder, Writer Performer - The Ultimate Experts

• Resident sketch group of The Producers Club (2007- 2009)
• Over 100 original sketches written and performed
  

http://youtube.com/TheExpertz for clips

Top Twits Blog 2009 - Present
New York, NY

Founder, Writer/Editor
• Follow and post/comment on the best tweets from popular celebrity twitter accounts

http://TopTwitsBlog.com

EDUCATION

Hofstra University, 2004
Bachelor of Arts: Creative Writing/English Literature

Media Bistro, 2010
Copy Editing Training


PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

The New York Times: About.com 2003 – Present
New York, NY
Ecommerce Editor
2007 - Present

• Created and write two weekly newsletters, The Shopping List and The Screening Room, which gained thousands of readers in less than a year based on network and Twitter promotions.
• Review freelance writers’ product reviews and ecommerce link placements to help enhance earnings while maintaining ethical standards.
• Mentor writers on how to create search engine optimized content.
• Develop editorial content specials based on themes produced by clients and using network content.
• Work with production team to develop innovative advertorial units for specific clients within industry and network standards.
  

Guide Coordinator
2006 - 2007

• Wrote internal communications on company standards, practices, and updates for freelance writers.
• Coordinated events and staff meetings in New York City, San Francisco, Chicago, and Atlanta within a strict budget.
• Prepared payroll for finance department by collecting from third parties and ensuring all calculations on pay period were correct for new and terminated freelance writers.
  

Client Services Account Coordinator
2004 - 2006

• Assisted in selecting the best content sites with greatest inventory availability that would meet client needs and assure campaign delivery.
• Created an internal database on how to best serve client inventory management and backend operations of the client services department.
• Managed incoming sales leads by delegating them to appropriate sales people
  

Research Assistant
2003 - 2004

• Worked with Neilson Ratings systems to create compelling slides for sales staff on comparative standings.

Sanky Communications 2007 - 2008
Copywriter New York, NY

• Wrote copy for non-profit organizations including: Covenant House, World Hunger Day and others.
• Conducted interviews for clients including the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation.
  

Email inquiries using the mail icon below.

Still Smoke Free, Still Doing Comedy

Here's some updates with me:

I haven't had a cigarette since May 15th, 2008.
What I've learned so far- I'm a bitch.

Apparently, all of those years of smoking I was inhaling carcinogens and exhaling my bitch.
Now that I'm smoke free, I'm a little bitchy.

To hear about this and more humorous tales from a smoke-free Sue Funke, please visit my comedy schedule because I've got a lot of great comedy shows I'll be on soon in New York City!

July 2006 Comedy Shows Featuring Sue Funke

I don't own a planner. I only have disorganized moleskine
and Outlook reminders, which I often forget to really look at before I close.

So, I figured for my benefit and possible yours, I'd put the schedule up somewhere that would be useful for everyone.

July 8, 2006 - New York Comedy Club
CALL 212.696.5233 FOR RESERVATIONS
241 E. 24th Street, New York, NY
7pm Show

July 12, 2006 - Madame X
Women of Comedy Show
7pm for DJ, show starts at 8:30pm

July 18, 2006 - Cheap Laughs at the Laugh Lounge
151 Essex St, New York, NY
$7 entry with canned food donation, $10 Without
7pm show time

July 31, 2006 - Luke & LeRoy
$5 Cover
7pm doors (DJ), 8:30 Show Time


Sorry for the boring (and a little repetitive) post.

Good posts to follow soon. I'm so late for brunch....someone get me a planner and an assistant to fill it out!!!

I'm Not Good at Not Working

I got laid off two weeks ago. In that time I've:

1. Reorganized my apartment
2. Had 2 job interviews
3. Collaborated on a new TV show to pitch to networks
4. Taken meetings to discuss 3 different viable business ventures
5. Never slept past 10am
6. Reorganized my iTunes
7. Made plans to visit my sister this weekend
8. Gone on 2 auditions
9. Ran a successful comedy show out of a gym
10. Not really relaxed, partially because when I do there's a voice screaming in my head YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB ANYMORE!

I met with some former colleagues last night. They had all moved on from the company that laid me off. I appreciated their outrage and sympathies, but the funniest part of the night was their simple demand:

"Take the rest of the week off."

I took in their demand but had no idea how to process it. What do you mean not work? I made them list the things I can and can't do:

1. No full-time job hunting
2. You can work on comedy stuff
3. You can handle anything time sensitive
4. You have to relax

I told my sister about these orders and she paused for a minute and then said, "Your relaxation is most people's slow day at work, so you shouldn't be as nervous as you sound."

When did I become this dork that wants homework over the holiday?

Well, perhaps it all started when I was 11. That was when I went out and got my first job. I showed my father my business proposal. It was a piece of construction paper with a baby drawn on it stating that I could be a mother's helper, my fee was $5 an hour for watching the older of two boys that lived across the street from me so the mother could handle her newborn. My father deemed it a solid plan and let me leave it in their mail box.

That contract got me years of lucrative baby sitting work, until I was legally allowed to work. Then, it was bagging groceries, answering phones, working at Starbucks...

and then the job I just got laid off from.

And even during that job I had jobs. I was always working on freelance or comedy.

OK, mostly comedy, at night. There was a point where I would do 10 stand-up shows a week and work 8 hours 5 days a week.

This is why my friends want me to relax.

So, I'm relaxing. See? I'm just up early, writing a blog... relaxing.

June 2014 Comedy Shows

I'm taking the comedy on the road this month.

Boston I'll be at The Gas at Great Scott on Friday June 20th at 7pm

Click Here for Tickets!

Long Island, I'm coming home! I'll be at Jason's Vineyard on June 28th at 8pm

Click Here for Tickets!

I'm always on YouTube for those who don't travel. 

Click Here for Video

A Lesson in Comic-dy

There are many types of people in this world.*
There are some of us who fancy ourselves as comedians.

What a lot of people don't know is, there are a lot of levels of comics.
To help those of you not on the "scene" understand I have laid them out below, in no particular order:

1.Die Hards - These are the comics that haven't made it, but are going out pretty much 7 days a week to live the dream. They have non-committal day jobs like waiting tables, bar tending, bar backs, or are completely unemployed. Not only are they on stage a ton, but they're constantly writing and talking to other comics.
They can practically taste their big break once a week, and then fall into deep misery over realizing that there's a chance it will never be their time.

2.Old Timers- They've been on the scene forever. They have seen people come and go, and may even know a famous comic who "did their room" a decade or two ago. They probably get paid to host some shows or even have steady gigs around town, but they've never reached the goal, don't expect to but still do it for the love, or because of the fact that they still keep a glimmer of cynical hope alive that they'll break through.

3.Almost Famous - "You may have seen me on {{insert Viacom owned channel here}} for five minutes." This comic has a manager or a steady gig at several clubs. They are going to open mics but there's a definite air of "I won't have to do this much longer" in their gate.

4. Snobs - They've got their toe in the door and they immediately forget how they used to struggle to. They put down the struggling and their open mics. They only go to three clubs, and all the others are the fucking joke. This comic is 8 times out of 10 hilarious on stage, and about a 90% chance of being so self obsessed that you can reach out and feel their insecurity as they drone on about how awesome they are.

5. I think I cans - Maybe their therapist told them to try comedy, maybe they have a friend who finds them funny, but some how this person got the comedy calling - but it was really a wrong number. They find themselves hilarious, and it can be brutal at times to watch, but they are usually "nice people" with "big ideas".

6.Working Class - This type gets up as much as possible, whenever possible, but has either a full time day job that most likely requires a degree or a full time family that makes it pretty impossible to get to a mic most nights. They try their best for their five minutes and pray that people remember them when they come back next week and that maybe by some stroke of luck they'll get to make something of this some day.

I'm number 6.
It's hard to get respect as a 6 in the comedy world.
To 1-4 it's a little insulting, like you're making their career a hobby.
No one really cares what 5 thinks.

Do I have other comics respect?
I'd like to think so, but a lot of times I feel like they look at me like:
"Oh you and your attempts, go back to work corporate girl."


My hope is as a 6 is that I'll be able to take my comedy to TV and write a sitcom, probably not based on me, most likely not showing my face on TV.
I've really just always wanted my name in the credits.

My reality is it is going to take time.
So, my hope is editor with a side struggle of comedian today -
head writer on a great show in ten years or less.

If I could do stand up everyday, would I?
I don't know.

I guess that's why I'm a number 6.


*This is contradictory to many statements I've made in the past, including a credos such as: "There are only two types of people in this world, those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't"
"There are only two types of people in this world, those who like Opie and Anthony and those who listen to Stern, all others are just conservative automatons."

I apologize for my blatant hypocrisy.

And Now A Word From The "The Sue Funke" Staff

Greetings and salutations readers,

It has come to my attention that a lot of people* read this here blog.

Thank you, I love to write, I majored in Creative Writing in college and had an absolutely amazing time doing it**.

In an effort to make the site more user friendly, there is now an "E-mail Me!" link at the bottom of every post. If you have a response that you'd like to share but don't want to sign up for this fine service that is Blogger, you can now contact me directly. This is thanks all thanks to my good friend/on-again-off-again Director, and Website Extrodinaire, Urban.

In Other News...

I have THREE stand up shows coming up in July.
If you are in the New York City Metro Area, please come out and support live comedy:

~Friday, July 8th at 7pm
New York Comedy Club
241 East 24th Street, b/w 3rd & 2nd Avenue
Please call for reservation, say you're seeing Sue Funke (I need 6 at least people in order to get 6 minutes, please please please make a reservation :) )


~Wednesday, July 12th at 8pm
Wicked Laughter - With DJ for the pre-show and some of the best female comics in NYC
Madame X
$12 at the door


~Monday, July 31 at 7pm doors, 8:30 show time
Luke & LeRoy
$5 cover, apparently there is a drink there known as "Giggle Juice" which is only $4, which sounds as if it has to yield interesting results after consumption... There will also be shot specials after the show, and I don't drink until after shows

--This could be a great night because there's also a DJ, and some of you know how I enjoy to live up to the hip name when it comes to dancing....
This show will definitely help you through a "Case of the Mondays", but might give you a wicked bad day Tuesday.
:)



*When I started this blog, I sent it around to some co-workers, friends, family. It has come to my attention that not only the people I've sent it to that I know read it regularly, but there's another audience who read this, which is cool. So hey other readers! (i'm waving at you)



**I then I started working full time and writing short funny things downthat I said or happened to me, and voila stand up comic.
yadda, yadda, yadda... I stopped writing things of substance. Like, oh say, that feature length script I've written or the plays that held "great potential", yeah...not so much anymore.

So, This Happened

Video streaming by Ustream

This morning I was on Too Early LIVE! with Glennis and Matt McCarthy. It was totally worth getting up at 5:50AM this morning to go chat with these fine funny people.

I haven't woken up that early when it wasn't for travel since I worked for Starbucks in 2003. When I worked for Starbucks, I'd get up at 4AM and drive across Long Island passing like 20 Starbucks to get to the 1 that I worked for and get the store set up for a 6AM opening.

This was different though, because today, someone made ME coffee. Look who's moving on up..and across town again for coffee. It is a pretty wonderful beverage.

Hope you enjoy the show. You can watch Matt & Glennis every Mon-Fri at 7:30 AM on their Ustream channel.

You can see me live at comedy shows listed here and please check out some of the merchandise I created on my cafe press store if you like funny sayings on things.

It's Official: I Hate Everything About Moving

Things I hate about moving:

1. We saw the place we're moving into once. I am still not sure if my bed will fit in my room.
2. I have to clean my current apartment. I hate cleaning.
3. I have more clothes than I even knew about. Tackling my closet was hard, but I fear what's under my bed. Not monsters, more like it'll be the land of forgotten sweaters and legal documents.
4. I wish I had a Dad to help me out with the move. I know it seems silly, but for some reason I feel like this is one of those moments a woman would need her father.
   
5. Why do I have so many books? I'm going to have to start lifting heavier weights in order to make this move.
6. There are so many things I need to worry about doing before, after and during the move that I can't even articulate them.
7. It's like I'm divorcing roommate tom, we're going through mutual belongings; "Who gets the couch?" "I get Disco Mary!" "I want that TV stand." "Who's computer is it anyway?" It's a civil split, but still, weird to divide belongings.
8. Everyday is now "My last -day at this apartment." I will have a whole new routine to follow now.
   
9. I have to decide what I really want to keep. This is how I realize I'm a pack rat. I'm sitting there looking at a flyer from one of the first comedy shows I ever performed at going, "Is this sentimental or garbage?" for an hour.
10. I keep telling people, "It's only three blocks away that we're moving!" and now I'm like, "Wow, I'm lugging all this shit for three blocks and up one flight of stairs. UGHHH!

I could go on, but basically, I just don't wanna clean and pack. I know that I could hire movers and they do it all. But um, I just pretty much cleared out my bank accounts to get the apartment, the only movers I could afford would probably do a worse job than I could do. Which, um, isn't saying much.

Now, back to packing/cleaning/bitching/crying/curling up in the fetal position and watching TV instead.

Another One Bites the Dust

Here's the slapdash run down of 2006:

I was promoted at work
twice*.

3 deaths of people close to me:
-Mike LiCalzi
-Bill Barrett
-my Great Aunt Maud
..it always comes in threes.

I met some dumbass men.
Made most of them my friends.
Others are just dumbasses.

Moved in with my buddy Tom
and my college roomate's sister.

Did some fun comedy shows.

Made some wonderful friends from aquaintences.

I turned a quarter of a century.

Developed a stronger long island accent for a joke,
and ended up with a nasty habbit of speaking in the accent.

Appeared on TV twice.
Spent an entire month without TV.

Grew my hair hippie long again.

Quit smoking.

Bought a lot of clothes because I see a Victoria's Secret Catalogue more often then I see myself naked at this point - but that's a whole other story.

Basically, it's been a long year.
I did a lot.
(especially on this blog, which i started in 2006)

So, I'm thinking, can I just sleep through 2007?
I'm freakin' exhausted.


*It only took working very very late into the night and waking up early in the morning.
I think of it as productive insomnia.

The First Funke Blog

Hi Everybody!

I already have a blog. It's on myspace*. So it doesn't really count because, as a friend of mine recently pointed out, myspace has kind of become Williamsburg** online; therefore, I can't really say I'm blogging when most of the people who read it are my friends and random hipsters, although I don't know how far reaching my audience for this blog will stretch past this crowd, I feel it has a better chance of being viewed by a more diverse readership.

So this is my official blog, I'm taking the "plunge".
What will 'The Sue Funke' blog be about?


My comical views on my life (similar to my stand-up routine)


My analysis of television


Some political and religious views, because I like to stir shit up


and



all my deep feelings and aspirations...




I'm fucking with you about that last part.

So thanks for stopping by and reading the first message.

peace,
Funke




*myspace isn't just a profile site, it's an addictive way to keep up on friends and music for me. I signed up to it to keep in touch with some cool cats I'm fortunate enough to now consider friends that I met in the Cut (Connecticut) and two years later I'm still droppin' comments and posting my comedy shows.



**For those of you who aren't aware, Williamsburg is a part of Brooklyn that used to be a predominantly Jewish and Puerto Rican neighborhood but is now a place for "hipsters" to be seen, to me it reminds me of high school, where everyone is very carefully dressed to be looked at and are in groupings, not really friends, but they're together because they are all the same kind of click. I've been there maybe four times tops, so my opinion may change, but I know I'm not alone in my feelings.

Chances to See Sue Funke Live

Hey there pals!

I'm going to do some great shows, starting...today.

Check it all out by clicking here: Sue Funke Comedy on Blogspot

and one of the shows this month includes an all new sketch show from

The Ultimate Experts!

iPod Earbuds Confirm: My Ears are Freakish

I have lived in New York for an entire year without an iPod.

All natives understand how absolutely awful this could be. The sounds of the city are really nothing you should walk around concentrating on day in and day out.
I made it through this hard year thanks to writing comedy, buddy Tom, and alcohol.
(Can you tell it’s awards season?...I’d also like to thank all the annoying songs that got stuck in my head.)

After moving and clearing out my bank account with the cost of moving,
I was living off of oatmeal and vending machines in my budget.
But then, a magical thing occurred – I got my security deposit back.
Now, I could’ve paid off credit card debt, or tax debt that I owe Mama Funke
(…Thanks New York City!)

Instead, I bought a new iPod Nano
Like a good frivolous indebted-American.

I set a spending limit, but then went $50 over that maximum for 4 more GB
And for AIDS research thanks to “Project Red”.
I then realized as I walked out with a super cute red iPod
-that I probably could’ve given a lot more to Project Red if I went with the plain model that was 4GB less and just donated the difference.



Oh well.
I’ll spend some more money on some new songs, iTunes here I come!


I used to have a good taste in music people. I really did.
It was all classic rock, and diverse and really based in intricate sound analysis.
The first songs I buy at the iTunes store?


“Gimme More” by Britney Spears
“Feedback” by Janet Jackson

I guess this is growing up? I’m in that “I love dance music!” phase of single feminine adulthood.
I wonder if next year I’ll download a lot of Barry White and smooth jazz?


I also purchased Kanye West’s new album, which is very good –
A nice finish to his last two CD’s, I enjoy his themes, and it shows growth.


Now, I can listen to these songs everywhere I go!
Walking around town, down the streets where I live, up the subway stairs.
Until…
Oh! Wait! The f’in ear buds fell out again.

I see people all over town wearing them.
They have no where near the frustrations I have.
They don’t walk around constantly replacing them.
I’m the only one that seems to have to continuously shove them in my ears.

It’s annoying, painful, and all I can keep thinking is –
I’m a freak.
My ears are somehow differently shaped than the entire world.
I'm an elf, or some part nymph with these weird tiny, bumpy, ears.

Then, I simmer down, and become reasonable.

Whatever, there are other people who probably don’t fit the round annoying iPod mold.
These people probably just have to go to the store and buy new headphones.
Oh! For crying out loud!.
Now I have to go buy some flippin’ head phones.


~Sue Funke is an Associate Editor, Stand Up Comedian, and life long lover of music. She currently resides in an apartment that is lacking window shades, and is absolutely in enamored with her iPod Nano…no matter what it’s costing her.


For comedy schedule information visit http://suefunkecomedy.blogspot.com

Quotes from Comix

On September 15th 2007 I performed at Comix Comedy Club in NYC's trendy meat packing district.
It was a really nice place.
I was ridiculously pumped for the show because I was told I would get a good tape out of it. And I desperately need a tape of my new material.

I was actually a little over pumped because when she asked how I wanted to be introduced I blanked.
"Um...I'm all over New York City."

"...Sue, you host a show on the Lower East Side and have performed at all of the major clubs."

"Yeah, that too! Say that."

Her introduction couldn't have been more awesome though, because she said the other stuff and then said, "She has the greatest name you'll ever hear, Sue Funke!"

This worked perfectly with the set I had rehearsed, yet my hands, not so much.
I just shook with excitement, I grasped the mic for comfort. I felt like I was more obvious than Ali (...too soon?)

Apparently though, no one noticed but me.

Here's the feedback from the show:

-"You broke the room open. You were the comic that made the entire room laugh."

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Sue Funke! You are great!

SUE FUNKE
You remembered my name! I don't even know you and you remembered my name; you're awesome!!

-"You've come a long way from the improv shows at the Brokerage. You were amazing tonight."


-"Beautiful and funny!"


I have to say the feedback does have me glowing.
Quick comments though - um all the stuff about my appearance, it's flattering but it's also a byproduct of:
-illness
-throwing up my entire day the night before
-angry work outs (I've been having some stress lately, so I work out angry - kick my own ass)

Also, no one ever commented on my looks after my show when I was chubby.
"Your third chin really glowed up there!"

"You were amazing, you covered the entire stage, and didn't move an inch!"

I know, I know, I should just take the compliment already.

Thanks to everyone who came to the show! The support is appreciated.
Reminder: My Comedy Schedule is located here.

Where Do You Go, My Funkely

Ever not see people and you feel like it's been maybe a month, but really it's been a year and a half?
This just happened to me at The Four Faced Liar and I realized, I must've been doing something with myself.
Here's what I came up with:

I tried online dating...

and as you can see it makes me retract my head and talk out of the side of my mouth as if I had a stroke.

I advocated for women's rights in a rape PSA (Thanks to 3rd Wheel Comedy's Annie Solstad for the Invite)

I've tumbled for newnownext

And of course, hung out with some queens..

I've gone to Spa Castle 

My happy place.

I've spent time at home.

I've gone to and am going to be in weddings. 

And I am still doing stand-up here and there, every Tuesday night at the Treehouse, still.

But I haven't blogged much for myself. I'm not saying that is going to change, but In figured I might as well say where I've been, it's only decent. 

If you're ever on Twitter you can find me:

@TheSueFunke

@ILuvTVMoreThanU - where I live tweet TV shows for myself

@NewNowNext -where I live tweet TV shows for money

Oh, and in case you were wondering, this blog is totally titled after this song:
La Bouche's Where Do You Go, My Lovely

New Weekly Feature on I Love TV More Than You

If you've missed my weekly TV and movie recaps that I used to do on The Screening Room, don't fret a minute more. I've started a weekly blog on I Love TV More Than You. It recaps and highlights the best, worst, and most interesting things I've noticed while watching TV all week.

Don't worry, it won't be all about HIMYM repeats, even though that is how I spend the majority of my time each week.

I hope you enjoy, comment, and check back every week for Funke Fridays!

PS - New Live shows have also been posted on Sue Funke Comedy